Kerry,
Please stop for a second. I just found this site today while trying to figure out why I am feeling the way I do for the past two weeks. I’m a 33 y/o man, married for almost 10 years, have two daughters (7 and 2). I have been feeling horrible for the last two weeks during the day. I’m forgetting things that I just did, have acute bouts of anxiety and dread, cannot work at my job, am hallucinating (mildly, but still hallucinating), having respiratory problems (bronchitis), can’t seem to think straight……just wondering really where “I” have gone. Had been hiding all of this from my wife until yesterday at work. I went to the bathroom and didn’t remember how I got back to my office. Came home and later that night, I broke down and told her everything that I had been experiencing. She put two and two together and suggested that it was the Ambien that I had been taking for about 2 mo’s. I take 10mg nightly. She clued me into a website that listed ALL of my symptoms/side effects. It was uncanny. After I looked at and studied this site (don’t remember which site it was), instant relief washed over me. I thought I was going crazy up until last night. I didn’t take any last night, and obviously couldn’t get to sleep until around 3am. Woke up today and started off to work again. About half way there I realized where I was and couldn’t remember the entire morning up until that point. I was in my truck headed to work, and honestly couldn’t remember how I got where I was. To make a long story short, I refuse to take Ambien anymore to see if maybe that’ s what was causing my erratic behavior. If I still have these horrible thoughts and moments of dread and confusion after being off of the Ambien for a week, then at least I’ll know it wasn’t the Ambien. I don’t know what specific issues you are going through, or if Ambien is even involved, but all I’m trying to say is try some other things before you resort to the ultimate resort. It will devastate your children, even if they are not children anymore. I’ve lost quite a few friends and even a relative to suicide. I have no respect for any of them anymore. I am willing to correspond with you as often as you need me. I could use someone to help me right now, too. I’m not to the point of suicide, and honestly I don’t think I could ever do something so selfish to my kids, friends, wife and relatives. But things suck real bad right now. I still don’t know for sure if I’m going crazy or not, but I’m going to exhaust all of my options to help myself. That incluedes accepting help from other people….even if I don’t know them. Please……….let’s try to help each other out.
-Russ
