Ambien can be a powerful, effective, and useful tool for sleeping. It can also be extremely dangerous. This website is dedicated to user discussion of the drug. We are open to positive and negative opinions, and the site is not censored.
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Side Effects
If you are looking for a detailed list of Ambien Side Effects, please visit ambienoverdose.org/side-effect and ambienoverdose.org/category/ambien-side-effects.
This website is dedicated to the discussion of Ambien user experiences. We do not have a bias; all relevant stories will be posted. All content on ambienoverdose.org was written by our visitors, for whom we are very thankful. Please contribute!
Note on Suicide
Sadly, visitors often find this site in a state of suicidal depression, and we have lost several readers along the way. If you are feeling depressed and suicidal, *please* do not do it. Your life is meaningful and important to many people, including me. In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, visit contactwecare.org, or email economistian@gmail.com Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem. No matter how bad you feel today, there is a very high chance that you will feel better (normal, even) in the future. In fact, it's likely that you are depressed because your sleep cycles are so damaged. New, credible studies are showing that there is virtually no chemical difference between depression and sleep deprivation. They are virtually the same thing. Instead of killing yourself, try changing your life. Research sleep strategies, start working out, find a hobby you are passionate about, and things will get better. I promise. About AmbienOverdose.org: This began as a relatively short article that offered basic information on the drug. Thanks to a constant stream of user comments documenting Ambien experiences good and bad, the site has become a valuable repository of information on experiences people have had with Ambien. If you have something you'd like to share, please do. All stories on AmbienOverdose.org are written, posted, and owned by our visitors. We cannot verify truthfulness or accuracy in them.
Follow Us on Twitter- I took ambien as directed. Did not mix with drink or other drugs and I totally lost control of my life within 4 months. 02:41:29 PM August 18, 2010 from web
- I was on ambien and I came home took mine than before I knew it I was walking to the kitchen and kind of felt out of body I remember... 03:03:29 PM August 09, 2010 from web
- Looking back, I can see all the warning signs now. 04:54:53 PM July 28, 2010 from web
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I took Ambien for a while when I was 17. I purposely overdosed one day to reach the euphoric feeling I had been feeling more of when I took my normal dose at night. For 12 hours my parents had to take care of me because I went out of my mind, had little balance, and was very demanding. I blacked out for almost all of it and only remember a few odd things that I did. I felt good during my overdose, but realizing what I had done and what had happened over the next few days was one of the scariest experiences of my life.
Do you know of any long lasting effects this drug could have on me, especially since I read that it shouldn’t be given to people under the age of 18 (I’m also very small)? If anyone knows and could e-mail me, I’d appreciate it.
Thanks
I am very serious. I have 100 2mg. klonipin, 60 10mg ambien, 120 200 mg tegretol, 30 lame paxil.
Please someone tell me. Will this kill me or am I gonna be stuck in an ER barfing charcoal?
I think we should all keep going to this site and start a club called thewakeupclub
no more overdosing but we shall hug , talk , and get through this hard tough experience called life!
IM SORRY EVERYONE FEELS THAT WAY BUT I FEEL IT TOO AND IT HURTS, I WONDER TOO WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF I TOOK MY BOTTLE OF AMBIEN AND OTHER MEDS. IM SCARED AND I DONT WANT TO LEAVE MY LOVED ONES ALONE BECAUSE THEY WOULDNT BE ABLY TO MOVE ON BUT I HATE THIS FEELING AND CONTEMPLATION OVER IT, IS THAT SUICIDAL, EVEN THOUGH IVE NEVER DONE IT? I WISH I HAD INSURANCE OR MONEY FOR A THERAPIST BUT I DONT AND SO I DONT KNOW WHO TO TALK TO, WHO WILL UNDERSTAND, I REALLY NEED A HUG, AND I HATE THIS FEELING. I JUST DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING STUPID AND END UP IN A LOONEY BEEN.
If you are thinking of suicide, then you are suicidal and need help. Life is a gift and you are precious and have a purpose in this world. I know you are hurting and feel as though it will never get better, but it will. If you don’t have the money for a therapist, talk to your family and tell them how you are feeling. Go to any church and talk to the pastor. They will talk with you and pray with you. And, they are free. Please don’t take your life. God created you and he loves you very much. Cry out to him and ask him to help you. My sister tried to overdose on ambien the other night. She has been depressed and we have been talking with her and encouraging her, but she just took a nosedive and did it. She was really crying out for help, but she almost killed herself this time. She has been in so much pain lately, but taking your life is not the answer. Life is very hard and no one said it would be easy. Reach out, talk to others, look around, there are many resources available that can help. Most of all, pray and develop a relationship with God and you will then see how valuable you really are. He paid a price for you for your life. Don’t you think it’s worth trying to live it?
I want to tell you that I have felt just like you, and I went to see a shrink, who gave me meds and they made me worse! I finally got some counselling at a local church for free and found it helpful. I aslo found some theraputic activities that I like to do. I got a cheap horse to ride, bought hummimg bird feeders, planted a small fruit/flower garden and voulenteered at a soup kitchen,
This might sound weird. But it all helped tremendously. I aslo happend to start going to that church that gave me coundelling its a christian chruch . I go once once a month cuz its not full of freaks n weirdo. Actually pretty cool and met some girfriends
So here;s ur home work…..Meditate, eat your favorite things, do only fun excercize, help others, find a relaxing hobby, Play with kids, voulenteer, pamper youself at a spa, just keep busy and find the things that make you HAPPY
Hope you get better my darlen!
I feel you!!!! I know how you see the world and if I could give you a hug I would. I could use one myself. I’m in a darkplace and could use some ligt.
Please contact me at your earliest convenience. 513-509-6673 call or text. Email is perfectly fine as well
If you seriously need someone to talk to, go on Experienceproject.com, it’s free and you can find someone on almost any subject to talk to… I know how you’re feeling and the only thing that stopped me from committing suicide was someone i met on Experienceproject.com…..try it before you do something you’ll regret
Man i am here for you and would never let anything happen to you. I am here when u need me for anything between talking, hugging, orwalking to clear ur head. U are better for this. U were put here for a readon and soon that ligjt will shine. I would love to mee!!
There is help. You don’t have to have money. Call 1-800-273-8255, a suicide hotline and they will put you in touch with a therapist/ psychiatrist right now-you won’t have to wait, and if you can’t pay for it, you don’t have to. I’ve been to the ‘looney bin’ (we prefer the name ‘Home of the Bewildered) a few times during a crisis (bi-polar here), and it’s a great place to be. You need love and support and that is where you will get it. . It’s a SAFE place to fall and there are trained professionals there to help you get back up. This is about YOU and you alone – not your family, your friends, kids ‘er whatever – not those who might profess to love you. YOU do this and do it for yourself, no one else. If you can just pick up the phone, dial the number and say, “I don’t know what to do”… they will take it from there. I’ll be thinking of you.
To donna and others on the subject of what NOT to say to someone who is suicidal…
1. don’t talk to them as if they have the ability to NOT choose suicide with “it will get better” because they don’t believe you. You are not where they are. Better to speak truth like, “can you tell me how you are feeling-what is is like, because I don’t know.”
2. Never use the conjunction, “but,” because it negates every word you just said before it. Instead of “I know you are hurting and feel as though it will never get better, but it will” . . . say “I can only try to imagine how horribly depressed, hopeless and full of despair you are right now. I don’t really have a point of reference to understand completely (then take over). “Let’s go call the hotline and they can tell us what to do. I’m going to get the phone book and look up Social Services – they can tell us where to go for help”, or if you know the danger is imminent, say “come with me. I’m driving you to the emergency room.”When a person is suicidal, you need to take over for them, because they can no longer function. Do not leave them alone until they are in the hands of professionals.
3. God is wonder and God is great; although you need to let a suicidal person come to God in their own time – they may be angry with God and feel alienated by him/her. Words like “develop a relationship with God” exaggerates the guilt/despair when they feel God has turned against them. AND OMG, you said, “He paid a price for you for your life . . .don’t you think it’s worth trying to live it,” is like saying, “How dare you, you ungrateful piece of conceit.” In a suicidal person’s mind, Jesus died for everyone else – not them because they see themselves as worthless. Telling them to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, to try, don’t you think it’s worth living? Do you know what happens when you try to pull yourself up by your bootstraps? you fall on your arse. A depressed person CANNOT try. They are paralyzed with despair – that’s why you have to take over and lead them to help. And, NO . . . it isn’t worth trying. A depressed person, no matter how thirsty, doesn’t even have the strength to break the cap on a bottle of water . . . because it just isn’t worth the effort.
Lastly, tell them “you are not alone. I love you. DO NOT say, “this will pass, it’s a phase, you’re doing this for attention (that one is soooo bad, you might as well give them the gun yourself) . . .
I feel the same way sometimes. I lost my husband three years ago. He was the love of my life, and my very best friend. I waited a year before allowing myself to meet someone new… I even spoke with him over the phone for more than 2 months before choosing to meet him. When we met, he idolized me, then slowly , but surely he wittled away at my self confidence and self respect. He is a drunk… He refuses to admit it, because he drinks only beer… But he drinks an 18-30 pack a day. I was initially brought up on a pedestal, then slowly, the “eveil twin” introduced himself to me, by throwing me across the table, twisting my ankle ~ almost to the point of breaking, then my wrist, to my neck & to having bruises all over my body… Yes, he beat me up, twisted my leg, grabbed my neck, & got within inches of slamming my face in the door, because I said the wrong thing while he was drinking. I hate myself for allowing myself to fall in love with Craig, and simply want the bad stuff to go away. I want it to be over, & stop feeling this way. My Mom needed me, and I let her down, because this man was at the edge of his rope, and wanted to give up… But I know now I cannot help him, and in trying, he broke me down. I am sorry, but the pain of giving one’s heart to another, while letting go of the goals I had to help my mother, is all to much for me. I failed my Mom who needed me, just to try to heal the pain of someone who no longer knows how to love. I am so tired, and lost, and feel so guilty for thee choices I made, it is simply time to go.
It is not suicidal to think about that …. It is only suicidal if you attempt it! Please don’t because it doesn’t solve anything for anyone and just causes more pain for your love ones
Hi, if u don’t mind me asking, what city, county, and state do u live in? There is insurance out there for ppl that have none. Email me back and let.me know. I see this post was posted a while back, so tell me how u been doin since u posted that.
that would be awsome. i am actually a paramedic. i was disabled physically and i struggle with all kinds of anxiety and insomnia. i really could use and spread on that. know nothing about computers and chat rooms and such so dont know what to do but wold help any way i could like medical knowledge.
How many 10mg of Ambien would it take to kill yourself? I am researching for a novel. Thanks!
seriously??? hug??? please,you’ve been in therapy too long.
You will be barfing charcoal, and in a lot of pain.
hey i want to buy them where will i get them without having to get precription. please help…..
You cannot buy prescription drugs without a prescription. They are controlled in this way so that people do not abuse them my child. No things in life are as hard as it seems. It is only the people in this world that have changed that puts a strenuous pressure on all beings. The institutions that have been created and are a necessity for life in this time. You may think to yourself that life is treating you unfairly or that nothing works for you. That is fine, it shouldn’t work for everyone, every person is different, none the same. It is all for a reason. You will find your calling, just never give up on your presence here in this world. You will only get this one chance to feel emotion, pain, relief and love. That is why you are here, that is why you live. You will one day return to a place of righteousness, but you will no longer have such abilities as you do in your human form.
All matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration. We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively. There is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves.
Just Google “Ambien Online No Prescription” and dozens of pharmaceutical websites will appear. Take your pick.
sure will , it killed me , but they brought me back ,they gave me my last rights and all, I even saw rays and angels, I got sent back to get a second chance,,and now I councel depressed teens..
was that your wake up call? I want to live! but not like this… i hate my stupid head thats sick… help
I tried to OD last night. I took around 100mg of ambien and all I got was a really bad headache, however I believe I passed out and hit my head on the tub woke up hair was soaked. It sucks, to wake up time and time again after an OD I dont go to the ER for them to shove tubes down my nose for the lovely charcoal I just want to end my life and my counselor just allows me to do this over and over and its getting worse each time. I CANT STOP HELP ME IM SOOOOOOO SCARED!
swimmerlu123@att.net
http://suicidehotlines.com/
talking to a third party whose completely outside the situation really helps you grasp your erratic and frenzied thoughts at those moments. Or at least it did for me.
Please find another counsler. This one is not doing his job. My only child died from and over dose of drugs. Let me tell you it was one of the most awful things a family can go through. I talked to the doctors that was treating her and they didn’t pay any attention to me. They just thought I was an over protective mother. Well she is dead now and she will never come back. It is a very serious thing when someone feels the way you do. If this counsler won’t listen to you please keep on until you find someone who will. My prayers are with you.
I don’t know how old you are. Think about it though… How would it affect ur mom,dad,sister,brother and friends?????? True do you think some would be lost? My mom killed herself when I was 12 and after that I drank , drugs got introuble and quit school. All within 1 St year. Call a hot line there all over
Im currently battling the same issues in my life and I know exactly what your going through. The isolation from loved ones, self loathing, lack of energy, it just sucks and seems so unfair I’m a kindhearted person and would do anything for anyone. Well The other day, with a sence of curiousity and boardom, i finally hit my breaking point. I took 10 ambien and drove my dirt bike right into a tree at approx 30mph. Not Intentionaly, I was just really messed up and completely reckless. I broke my foot and left had; so now I still have to coninue this struggle with a few booboos. After that night I stoped taking the ambien and feel so much better. I believe ambien was a huge trigger to my depression. Just know life can be amazing, beautiful, and far to short to not atempt to make things right. Flush those pills down the toilet and just try something different. Depression is temporary! Remember all wounds heal with time. Best of luck! Continue posting to others, eat right, and mild exercise helps too! Stay strong and positive; I know you can do it!
SteveO is that really you? I could really use some help from someone who has been through it and not just a bullshiter. I am 27 years old and have been with my “man” for 12 years, 4 years ago he broke his back and started taking some really hard shit (which I understand he needs). 2 years later I broke my right foot and told that I most likley not going to have kids. Bottom line I got into the drugs and now see no reason for me to go on. My Husband through me out and has no trust in me and what man would want a chick who can give him kids? I hate myself for what I let happen and am really wanting to end it all… I know your a very bizzzzy Man but if you could take a sec. It would mean the world to me. Xoxo Givvin up in Cito
Not every man wants kids sweetie. I feel that time has passed for me. I got a girl pregnant when we were both 15. Her parents pursuaded her to get an abortion. Again when i was 19 with a different girl and she lost the child. At this point in my life i feel hopeless. My girlfrend of 15 years just left me because of my lack of motivation to do anything to better myself. I just feel theres no point. Im also a substance abuser, pain pills and alcohol. I also broke my right foot whitch started me on the pain meds. I actually shattered it in 12 places and didnt get surgery because i didnt have insurance. Basically i spend my sleepless nites looking up however many of whatever pills will do the job. Although i dont think i have the balls to actually do it. I basically just wish i wont wake up when i finally fall asleep. I actually pretend that im going into a fatal sleep every time i go to bed and it seems to sooth me. Im to embarrised to let anyone know im depressed because i am well respected and cant show weakness in the life style i chose. (whitch i will not get into). Most pills wont kill you, you will puke them up in your sleep. My buddy just died two days ago from drinking all nite and chewing a fentinol patch before bed. He never woke up. He is my fourth frend in 2 years that died this way. If ypu were to get really drunk and chew 300mg of fentenal patches thats a guarntee. The ppl i know died from only 50-100 mg. I dont recomend killing yerself in any way. Remeber not every man wants kids. The rite one is out there for you that dosent care about that.
Hey hi ino exactly watu mean.my girlfriend threw me out2.all i want is a way2end it.we as humans didn’t ask2b here,now we hav2put up with all the bs that goes round.im currently looking4a way out&1more thing its tru bout sum men not worried bout having kids.u sound so like me
Wondered how many Ambien will kill you?
if you cant handle your life right now ask God to handle it for you.He said come to me all of you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.Cry out to him all your struggles,fears,worries and problems that weighs you down and tell Him you cant live this life on your own and ask him to live it for you.youll be amazed at how God will respond to your helplessness, and hopelessness.Try Him and you wont be dismayed.I’ll be praying for you
It depends on your body tolerance I could take 30 and it wouldnt do nothing but then again I trief to end my life with soma and ambien I in a coma for two days could not move my, legs for a week and when I got my feelinh back I ended up with severe nerve damage so serve it would make me cry even on loratab
1/4 of only the ambien will kill you… That’s just stupid
no just dont listen to me
I believe you would start vomiting before you were able to swallow all those pills. If you take those meds on a regualr basis you are going to be immune to them so most likely you wont die. You will just be vomiting uncontrollably. Vomiting is your bodys defense mechanism, if too much of something is there it trys to get rid of it.
You only build a tolerance to the effects, the therapeutic index remains the same, so while it may take more over a longer period of time to maintain a point of therapeutic value, the amount you would need to take to kill yourself would be the same regardless of it being day 1 or 100.
I often have those same questions. I am prescribed elavil 25mg, 10 mg ambien, 100 mg pristique, 1oo mg lamictal, and 1 and 1/2 mg klonopin daily….I went to my primary care physician and asked about them……She said “I don’t deal with these drugs…who manages your health care…..My reply was I thought it was you so i guess im looking for a new doc. This after signing release papers for all doctor she had no idea….Sometimes you need to advocate for yourself
Ronna~I know this may be too late, but don’t do it. That cocktal of pills will only make you very sick, possibly cause some brain damage, and make you feel bad. It won’t kill you. Reply to this, and we can talk it through. I struggle the same as you.
please help me. I am thinking of a way to die. don’t want to but it kind of is inevitable.
-ken
caige2010@live.com
I feel like my life is of no use. I have financially struggles all of my life and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel anymore, I always tried to keep myself thinking, things will get better, some days it seems we are in our way and most are just backfires and I don;t sleep, I take Ambien……..does not help….I am so exashuated.. cant even type anymore. Hubby been out of work over a yr,, he is getting on my nerves and I am sure I on his,. He was denied unemployment……I do not see how we are gonna make it. I feel like if I killed myself, at least he will have ins money and can get financially stable. I dint get to see my only grandson cause the old car does not ru well and no heat or air in it..they live about 45 min, away..he will soon be 68 and I am 55..I feel so old,look so old, teeth falling out, hair falling out….gained alot of weight……..cant stand myself anymore either…I am just NOT happy….If I knew I could take something and just NOT wake up, that would n fine my me………very depressed and I had to put my dog down Jan 5th this yr, cause I had not friggin money to get him some help……….air out on trailer now,,,,no hope in site..I do not know how much longer I can hang in here…..I know I have been blessed with other things, but its just NOT enough………I dont sleep and it is just killing me slowly……………….tfl
Curious, are you OK now? Please reply Ted259@gmail.com
This will definately kill you.
iThis will definately kill you.
are u askin bcuz u wanna whack yourself
Yea if u eat it all that’s where ur gona go…dum ass
Both if you’re caught in time. But if not, a cocktail of those quantities is enough to kill you especially if it’s chased with grain alcohol. Being in the ER and getting charcoal pumped in your stomach only happens when you’re not too far gone. The cocktail I assume you’re thinking of taking is very dangerous. If you do survive you’ll be hating yourself over the next few days because your stomach lining is going to be completely shredded from all that shit you downed. Life is better lived, than spending eternity in a lake of fire. God is always with you even if you don’t believe. But seriously, whatever pain you’re going through here on earth, is nothing to what you’re going to experience never ending pain & torment. There is no escape, it’s eternity in hell. I assume your need for suicide is because you’re hurting so much now and have more than likely had enough of this cursed world. But there is a new on coming. A GOD that loves you so much he killed his son just to be able to give (“you/RONNA”) the choice to spend eternity in paradise with him. His love for you is endless. There is a new world coming, don’t give up just so you can suffer with the enemy. Wait, even through out your pain here to spend eternity in peace & joy w/ GOD. God has not forgotten about you!!! Whatever pain you feel, He feels it much worse. This is you’re life & you’re decision but please take into consideration how much you’re worth, it’s more than your mind can conceive. Jesus loves you, and I love you my sister in Christ. Please don’t end your life! Wait for Christ to come back for you, he never sleeps nor slumbers and has not forgotten about you. You go through His mind more than time can count. I love you sister. Please here His words… “I love you my daughter, did I not form you while you were still in your mothers womb? I’ve watched you your whole life for I am the Alpha & Omega (the begging & the end). You’ve been in pain for so long. Scars will not heal scars. I have a plan for you of greatness & prosperity. A loving family & a good job. These things I have promised you. Please do not turn away from me, you’re almost through storm and the sun will shine again. I love you my daughter.” -thus saith The Lord
All the wack-jobs here believe there is an invisible man that follows our every move and passes judgement like a figure skating judge. He will give you all tens for living but zeros for killing yourself. But guess what? There is no God. There are Tsunamis and wars, aids, plagues, serial killers, abusive police, sadistic parents etc. etc. Do you know why? No God! Thats why!
If u take all of those medications together, u will die. If u feel suicidal, go to the nearest e.r and tell them that. They will help u. The strengths of the pills and the ingredients in each pills will clash inside of u and possibly cause ur respitory system to close down which will stop ur breathing. I’m guess ur suicidal, please don’t commit such a selfish act. Ever heard of someone dying from a broken heart? It does happen. Do put ur family and the people that love u go through that.. get help with ur issues whatever they may be.
i swallowed a ton, but drank alcohol too. and nothing is happening. blaaaah.
maybe you are used to stronger stuff like xanax
Ambien is very hard on your liver. It can only take so many toxins before it gives out
Lets get you some herbal stuff?
no long term problems from hope that one time but you obviously are trying for a buz and need take care of you dosages. there is a number for every lethal dose unfortunantly it is different for everyone.hope that helps. you can email me at gmedic335@yahoo.com i may be able to help you further depending on exactly what you want.
I am on all sorts of meds. I take cymbalta for depresion and musckuloskeletal pain, helps alot – but very habit forming and I have been on it along time. I also take Klonopin for Anxiety and to sleep – but due to tolerance issues – it doesn’t really help anymore. Also take abilify to help moods – worked great for about a month, but all it does is make me hungy all the time now. I am now fatter with mood swings – really doesn’t help depression much.
I think I found the solution last week by chance that could finally give me the permanent relief I need.
I had a colonoscopy with Propofol as an anesthetic – sedatives by themselves in a previous colonoscopy 2 years ago had no effect and I had the procedure totally awake – not fun. So this time I was geven propofol to knock me out.
10 minutes of pure heaven – my fuckin mind finally stopped its endless toture of circular thoughts for 10 minutes while i was out – and I felt renewed for about 2-3 hours, until all of the bad thoughts started creeping back in.
I finally knew that there was a way to stop the thoughts – too bad propofol is very hard to get. Hoever, if death is like the relief from propofol, it might be worth the effort to get it.
I have been unemployed for over a year and have had problems with depression my whole life. I lost my dog of 15 years 3 years ago and every thing spiraled out of control until I finally lost my job of 17 tears. I don’t know how a normal person finds a job these days, let alone a depressed person with family and friends who don’t offer any help other than I am here for you and let me know if there is anything I can do – I NEED A JOB ! The current process of looking for a job is menial, cruel, and full of rejection, things I am not designed to cope with at this point. I have been doing this full time for over a year, and I can’t do it anymore.
So I give up. I now have another dog that is about 15 and in kidney failure. Losing her will be the last straw. It is only a matter of time.
All I can think of is if she feels as bad as I do, I owe it to both of us to end this nonsense. Everyday is a fruitless struggle. You can only bang your head against the wall for so long.
I don’t even know if I can look for a job anymore – the process makes me more depressed.
As yes – I have a Psychiatrist and a Therapist and they are not very helpful – I dread going to see them. And the Meds they prescribe are killing me financially.
As far as family and friends – as long as they sepak to me, they feel they have done their part – it only makes them feel good.
Why is it that people who have mental issues have the compassion to actually help other people. But that when your own pain sets in, others can’t help you. Believe it or not, people with mental issues are more sensitive and compassionate and are more loyal. Until you feel betrayed because no one else can help you and then your head starts fucking with you.
I can’t even get away from it by sleeping. Even when I can get to sleep, whenever that is, I have nightnmares and bizarre dreams – stuff that I would get put away for in real life.
DOES ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY ???
I just want to be a working and productive member of society. I don’t want the sympathy, I just want help – I want the same chances as everyone else. I just currently lack the tools.
IS ANY ONRE ELSE “OVER INTELLIGENT” ??? It seems to me that this is the worst combination – being Mentally Ill & Intelligent – a bad mix.
If I can’t fix this, I don’t want to be part of this cruel world anymore. My recent experience with Propofol showed me that a mindless existence may be the answer to my pain.
AND PLEASE – if you have the same problems and want to answer, I would welcome the help.
If you are going to lecture me, don’t bother !
LOOKING FOR AN ACCEPTABLE SOLUTION OR ENDING !
You have said it all. I also hate it when the people who know you go like,dont worry about god will help, that good things come to those who wait! All am thinking at this point is shut the f.k up! I mean all i need is employment and a chance to unleash my potential. I totally feel you, ive been so depressed and so alone at dealing with this shit called life. God it sucks! ive looked for non-prescription drugs that can kill me but havent found any.
I feel the same way you do..I lost my beloved dog a couple of years ago, also have another older one. I did get another dog but I worry even more. I also have cats. I lost my job and don’t know how I will provide for them. The younger dog has separation anxiety and depends on me a lot. I know she lost her previous owner somehow. I would hate to leave her but I am tired of the grief of life as well. I think in some ways you are right, that only people with some sort of mental issue or depression are sympathetic to others, and it may also be related to intelligence. My mom always used to tell me that she thought her kids would be happier if they weren’t as smart as they are. My oldest sister is completely mentally disabled though, and my dad has dementia and I did my best to care for them for a couple of years. It seems like it took its toll on me though, because after I took time off to help them I never seemed to be the same. For awhile it went ok but then I had to send my dad to live with another sister and then the mentally ill one went off the deep end really bad and trashed his house and ended up in various institutions. It took me over a year to clean out the house so it could be sold. Anyhow I got sicker and sicker and more depressed no matter what I tried to do for myself. I started eating healthier, going to a gym, saw a therapist and shrink and my primary care doctor a LOT…nothing seems to help. Doctor didn’t want to run tests. I am still in the same boat and am losing my job. I worked for that place for more than 20 years and I don’t even know how to job hunt anymore. Like you, I can’t seem to take the rejection and second-guess myself all the time. Sadly, studies show that hiring people for jobs is largely based on looks and popularity. The lucky and cute get more benefits out of life. Now I am sick and fat and don’t know if anyone will hire me or what I will do without health insurance. After a lot of years of hard work and caring for others I am basically left alone. I don’t think my family can or will help me either.
I think the shape society takes these days makes us all isolated and leaves us without resources….I often wonder what this says about ‘survival of the fittest’ and ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’…are the meek the fittest? Are cockroaches meek? Everyone says THEY will be the only survivors.
Well that’s a lot of rambling, in no apparent order. I hope u are still alive, although as most of us here on this site can attest, we aren’t sure that we want to be alive ourselves.
My story echoes yours. My docs prescribe tons of meds, ambien,adavan, limictol, klonopin, lexapro but I am still down. My mother Had 8th stroke. She is very dependent on me. I have admitted and discharged her over 24 tines in the past 18 months. My siblings pretend to help but never do. I worked for 18 years same job. I have been out of work due to depression on disability for six months. They just eliminated my job. So I am now jobless and depressed. I want to bury mom before I leave but it is hard just waiting. Just took 4 ambien. I feel all your pain, it lives and twinkle and pricks under my skin. I am sure after mom dies I will be relieved, the care duties will end. My tine here will end and I will join her. I have to prepare lists on how to get at my money/morgage/401k/life ins plans./banks. please send some good ideas on how to organize the intangible assets. Need to organize Passwords banks,lockboxes, Safe boxes, credit cards, utility company, will needs order since my house now looks like a bomb hit it.
My husband thinks I should not be sad,
This deficiency with empathy/sympathy is his proud armor. I wish for it when I prey.
Getting messier every week. I only brushed my hair 1 time last week. Any practical advise about funeral planning?
To Vic, jlo, moira
Hi JLo! Your situation sounds exactly like mine. Oh, and to the person who said you can’t get meds online…just got mine in the mail! I’m sorry, had to vent a little.
I just got Ambien, I figure when my checking acct says $0.00 it will be a combo of Ambien, Ativan(2mg, 150), Benedryl(keeps you from puking!), lots of beers and shots, OTC sleeping pills, and who knows what else! Kinda scary huh! I really hope YOU are doing better. Life sucks! I can’t find a job to save my life…lol, I have no family, friends…they all live in CA. So I’m stuck here in BFE Ohio. I would like to talk, so reply if you can!
J
I’m sorry your feeling like this Janet; I’m currently battling the same issues in my life and I know exactly what your going through. The iaolatiion from loved ones, self loathing, lack of energy, it just sucks and seems so unfair I’m a kindhearted person and would do anything for anyone. Well The other day, with a sence of curiousity and boardom, i finally hit my breaking point. I took 10 ambien and drove my dirt bike right into a tree at approx 30mph. Not Intentionaly, I was just really messed up and completely reckless. I broke my foot and left had; so now I still have to coninue this struggle with a few booboos. After that night I stoped taking the ambien and feel so much better. I believe ambien was a huge trigger to my depression. Just know life can be amazing, beautiful, and far to short to not atempt to make things right. Flush those pills down the toilet and just try something different. Depression is temporary! Remember all wounds heal with time. Best of luck! Continue posting to others, eat right, and mild exercise helps too! Stay strong and positive; I know you can do it!
It’s rather interesting that I find so many similar stories on this board. I can completely relate besides the losing pets part. I feel that i must be ‘overly intelligent’ because I can not see how these other people in society function. Its all one big ponzi scheme and EVERYONE BUYS IT. Why the fuck should I get up and go to work (if i could find a job) for 8-10 hours a day in order to pay mortgage/car payments/insurance/other shit and never really be able to get myself out of debt. Really, why? Why do people do this?
To the people who say when their bank account reads $0.00 they will kill themselves, why not overdraw it? Not like your going to pay it back….
Also benzos/Z drugs like ambien have a really really tall LD50 (lethal dose where 50% of subjects die). Its really difficult to do with just those drugs. So if y’all are really into it go get some heroin, like a gram, and shoot that all at once. Done. If you wanted to off yourself you could easily do this and heroin is easier to get off the street pretty much anywhere in America than ambien is to get from a doctor.
Wtf is with everyone being concerned with ‘legal/non-prescription drugs’, NOT LIKE YOUR GOING TO COURT IF YOU GET CAUGHT!!!
Hmm… I relate then I rant… sorry about that but if I don’t find sleep soon I will find it permanently with some Ray Charles.
I know how you feel. I was diagnosed with bipolar at 12. I am now 32. I spent
end my teenage years beating myself up with alcohol and meth and cocaine. Later graduating to acid, extacy and heroine. Ii had a daughter when I was 17, she died 4r years later from an incurable brain tumor on herr birthday. Any drug you give me I will try to abuse. I have been out of work for about half of this year already. Overdosedd two months agago on xanax, lithuim, prozac. Anti phycotics. And a few other drugs. I too woke up with
I came across everyone’s stories and postings as I was searching for “how many Ambien would kill you” as I myself am in a very dark place and can’t seem to get out of my own bad thoughts and feelings. I am the person that if I did commit suicide everyone around me would ask “why did he do it, I wouldn’t have ever guessed he’d be the type, he’s extremely attractive and has everything going for him”. Unfortunately what people don’t know about me, I feel is killing me on the inside. I honestly look like Superman (I have the curl in my hair and everything), used to have a Perfect Hollywood smile but smashed up my teeth in a simple fall on rollerblades, I have had HIV for 8 years and at the beginning of 2011 found out I have Herpes as well. People around me always ask me “how in the world could you be single”, but they don’t know I’m diseased. I am also gay and believe in Honesty, Monogamy, and No Drugs and in gay culture it means it’s just about impossible to find anyone who feels the same as most gay men just want to have anonymous sex with as many guys as they can and never want to date, but then throw in HIV and Herpes and no one wants to touch me. I have worked in non-profit for 10+ years helping other people with HIV education and always wanting to give. All I want in this life is to be married to another quality man, live in a simple house, raise 2 children. Unfortunately I can’t have my own children as I have HIV and no woman would want to be artifically inseminated from someone who has HIV, even with modern technology of cleaning the HIV from semen. I feel my purpose in life has been taken away from me. On top of this I am also in debt $36,000 and don’t have a full time job. I continue to sink further and further into a dark hole and don’t see a way out. I’ve been single for 10 years and don’t care to have random sex……….as I have before and that got me HIV and herpes. I honestly feel like a rape victim, I got something I didn’t ask for, I feel gross and ugly even though on the outside I’m attractive to other people.
As I was reading the other comments I was in tears knowing other people out there feel the same as myself, the pain is overwhelming. For me the people around me wouldn’t be really affected by my leaving them. I have parents that ignored me as a child and never cherish and valued who I was. I had a 4.0 GPA up until about the age of 16 when I could drive and be around other gay people……..people who understood me. I am 31 years old now and can’t stop thinking about how better my life could have been if there were supportive people around, parents who truely loved me, cheered me on through my struggles and got me to push harder. As a male I feel insane pressure from society to provide everything, and as a gay man it just seems expected that I should have some great career and it’s not acceptable to say “I want to raise a family, I want to stay at home and provide for my loved ones”. I didn’t ask for this life, I didn’t ask to be put on earth and be pushed to insane limits of stress and depression. I would like to think “God” will make it better, that some magic force will allow me to heal and feel wonderful…….unfortunately this hasn’t been the case. My thoughts continue to spiral further and further downwards.
If anyone knows of personal ways to get out of this funk please tell me/us. The personal pain is far too intense.
I am not on ambien now, but have realized that if I were to kill myself it would be with sleeping pills. I couldn’t cut my wrists or shoot myself in the head. I just want to go to sleep and that’s it. My writing this long comment is my way of yelling out that I need help. I have called a suicide hotline and it did help for a day to be able to tell someone I was thinking of dieing, but that feeling of strength has quickly gone away.
There is so much more I could write about how I feel and what’s wrong, but I figure someone out there gets the basic idea of what I’m up against in life. I hope for the best for all of us, that some miracle will rescue us, or atleast put us out of our misery, and if we take our own lives that we end up in a better place, a place without pain, a place of acceptance and answers and good feelings.
aloha from hawaii, and I just came across your post, superman… and I totally feel you… there is no quality guys out there. I would like to start like an email penpal thing… darklyter808@gmail.com… we can talk, vent, and laugh.. hope to hear from u soon…
know how you feel sitting here trying to figure out how many of what pills I can take to end this. I too am sick of well meaning (ha ha) people who say cliches & feel theyve helped. Tried to get therapy but cant find any. Im just tired of trying & hitting my head against the wall. my mom died 2 years ago yesterday. Todays my birthday & I want to be with her. I also don’t appreciate the religous trying to tell me God is the answer to all. If that were the case I’m pretty sure the world would be a better place.
I know slot about how you feel JLo.
Where would I even begin? The only reason I’m still alive now is because I had pets. I worry about what would happen to them. Sad, huh?
Then I got married to a wonderful woman that I am not in love with. I feel guilty, worried about how she would feel if I were gone.
So funny, I even have multiple scenarios I would use for ending depending on the method I decide to use. I won’t go into detail.
Ambien is almost a truth serum. And I never remember what I say. Apparently, I went into detail about my service in Desert Storm – no, I don’t think I have PTSD.
Another time I spilled life shit to my wife and afterward, I sat in the bathroom with a handgun. Funny thing is, when I went into the bathroom with it, I unloaded it. The lovely thing is that my wife sent the psych about it. Yeah, because that’s what I want.
A big fear of mine is that I’ll try and suicide and fuck that up. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything right.
I sleep like crap even when I take Ambien. Maybe 3 hours of sleep with 10mg.
Yes, I’m seeing a psych and a therapist.
I saw the psych the other day and she upped my welbutrin to 450mg. Not sure what the max is.
Willie Nelson “…they’re always alone, even with someone they love.”
I am 40 years old, in a job where I have advanced as far as I can…let’s not talk about the job market.
I’m heading into a divorce which will end up hurting someone who doesn’t deserve to be. I care about her very much, but that’s as far as it goes.
I feel like I’ve spent my life helping others, making others happy. Most of the jobs I’ve had involved helping others. I’ve spent so much time doing that, that I haven’t done anything for me. For the past 10 years I have wanted to just drop off the planet.
There’s also another issue involved that I can’t go into that has also become an added issue.
You know what, I’m just rambling now. And an iPad is not exactly suitable for typing all this and proofreading. So, well, I don’t know.
wow guy. im not gonna lie thats exactly how ive felt for quite some time.. id love to just be done with it all but idk what else i can do… i already know my friends wont help me cause ive seen my other suicidal friends talk to them and they just tell them that its stupid and they dont feel bad for suicidal people. and everyone ive tried talking to just gets scared away and refuse to communicate with me. but if you ever do get this you should hit me an email: grape4991@yahoo.com.
I took Ambien for a while when I was 16. I took it to school and overdosed on it. I got charged with public intoxacation. Possession of a uncontroled substance and endangering wellfare of others. It was almost like i was really drunk. I remember trying really hard to walk up to the teachers desk. I was seeing 3 of evreything. Really distorted. and collapsed in the floor. They called a ambulance and i was fine. Next time, I took the whole bottle. If my mom dident come home when she did id be dead. I was in icu for 3 days. My memory is compleatly shot and I now have seizures. I blacked out for almost all of it and only remember a few odd things that I did. I felt good during my overdose, but realizing what I had done and what had happened over the next few days was one of the scariest experiences of my life.
Life is not wondering how much ambien will kill you. I take ambien to help me sleep after coming home from the war. This way I am able to spend every minute with my family.
are y’all seriously posting suicide threats on the Internet? y’all need to go to a psychiatrist and learn to deal with your own problems. y’all sound like the dumbest mother fuckers I have ever heard. maybe you all should kill yourselves. darwinism at its finest! survival of the fittest
Shut the fuck up redneck! It’s sad to think people with no empathy like you want to live. Look at who has issues too hypocrite. Do you feel better about yourself coming on here and making fun of people in pain?? Did you get your self esteem boost Bubba? What’s even worse is you’re using Darwin in your comment too as I usually associate Atheism with intelligence. Suuuu weee redneck
As for anyone else reading.. hang in there! “This too shall pass” and you will regret it. I encourage you to find other ways to get to sleep too.. and Yes there are other ways. Don’t come here to make a threat and hope someone comes to rescue you too.. help yourself. Religious or an athiest.. you can’t expect help to fall from the sky and don’t sit here counting on someone to reply to you. “God only helps those who help themselves” and, like I said, that applies even if you aren’t religious.. you’ve got to act. It’s unrealistic to expect anything to change if you don’t act. So do something about it. Help yourself!! You’re typing here and your fingers can type right? Make a call. Be part of the “fittest” my redneck friend above was talking about and then come here to tell him how much of a pyschopath he is for treating people like that
Be one of the fittest by “merely trying” and be one of the “fittest” with a heart 
Your liberal friend who wants You here, Josh
um why do u have all this medication? and yes if mixed correctly, and overdone like they usually are u could get very sick. “not HIGH” very ill like hospital three day stay.. those pills should be taken as they are prescribed if the prescribing dr isnt a trash can and is actually one of the good ones in which i highly dought if hes the dr giving you all this medication. SERIOUS be carefull everyday another person i know drops dead from fucking around with that poison shit, find a new hobby, something to look foward to cause if u dont once u walk this road you will never fully walk back fighting every min w/ yourself.
At the moment i am swallowing 70mg of ambien CR. I am tired of my life.
Please dont feel that way
who the hell are you to tell someone not to feel a certain way? i just want to end it without pain. i have enough of that alive. i am an atheist so don’t give me the god bullshit.
there are other options. suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You need to think rationally of those who will be left behind, and who you will hurt. You can always work on fixing yourself and working things out. There are probably many more people out there who love you than you realize. Pleaes get some professional help before you do anything, give your life a chance.
then why are you on here other than to hear people to tell you to stop? if you wanted it to end… and i mean this with the most bluntness possible…then you wouldnt be online complaining about it.. now either seek help at a facility right away or… get offline and stop searching for an online pity party.
are u still here on this earth, just asking…….
Wanda I am t gonna judge u.
I hope u didnt yo! U can be so happy in this world!
Dont do it thats not the fix you need
Remember all wounds heal with time and we fall to learn how to pick ourselves backup. Good luck to all of you. Seriously’ it’s not worth it!
Good, hope you died.
I hope you are not serious. Ive been there before and i know the feeling of helplessness but there is always hope..
“its always darkest before the dawn”..African proverb
more like a quote from the dark knight
I really hope that you are finding th help that you need
My name is Arjun Chhabra.
Arjun Chhabra loves his life.
Arjun Chhabra does not do things like that.
Arjun Chhabra does not have any ambien.
If Arjun Chhabra tried to kill himself he would probably take more then that.
Arjun Chhabra did not approve of this message.
Arjun Chhabra signing out.
I used to get monthly ‘scripts for zolpidem to counteract the sleeplessness associated with being on an SSRI for a few years. I had already used xanax to counter the anxiety portion and i eventually started abusing that. Either way, the anxiety went away after a while so I quit using the xanax, but months later the insomnia started so I got the zolpidem. Point being: I have a history of overdoing it.
Well, zolpidem definatly tickled the same euphoria receptors that xanax, klonopin, etc did and I found myself easily staying awake on the stuff. And yes, I got high on it for sure.
I eventually got a script for Ambien CR while at the same time I still had several refills on the zolpidem. Since they where both active scripts and of different “formulations” I could take 30 doses in 10 to 15 days, then get the other formulation filled without my insurance or the Walgreens computer freaking out, filling in an every-other-one fashion.
I remember one time I took an entire month’s worth in a week! I went to the pharm for a refill after that week and the tech looked at me and said, “Sir, exactly how many of these do you take each night?”
“Um…what’s that?”, I asked, as if I didn’t know exactly what they had said. I knew they had me there!
“We can’t sell this to you sir, you filled last week.”
The withdrawal from that week was horrendous! I had the dizziness and brain shocks so bad I was pretty much useless. My psych prescribed me a valium (very small amount) taper, but first said incredulously, “You took 6 ambien a night for 5 days, that worries me.” I don’t remember getting any more ambien from him after that. Trazodone turned out to be a safer alternative.
Some days I would wake up to find as many as 9 pills gone and try to figure out how I would be able to have enough to last me until refill time.
I usually went for walks. One vague memory I have is being utterly lost about a block from my house one summer night. I remember squinting up at the street sign with the orange street lamp halo behind it and thinking, “Now, where am I?”
I consider myself lucky, and don’t take the fact that I’m still alive for granted. I never had bad hang overs, always woke up at a descent time, never missed work. But if I had gotten in my car one of those nights I have no doubt I’d either be in prison for manslaughter or dead myself.
x I’m esxtremely fu***** up riht now. from this. i’m seeing in 199% doubl vision. hahahha
I’m tired of life. I wish I were dead. I’m thinking about taking pills to do the job so I’m researching how much it would take to do the job. I need to be thorough so I don’t survive this. Life is just too painful anymore. I’ve got some serious mental disorders and I have so much trouble controlling my emotions and it takes so much energy to keep from flipping out and it’s nothing but a burden on my life. I’m tired of fighting just to stay in control. I’ve been on so many different meds over the years but it never helps. I’m finally ready to give up. I’m waiting till my girlfriends birthday so she feels the same hurt she caused me. She’ll go through life remembering her birthday as the day I ended my life
don’t worry it’ll be fine. tok a bunch of ambien with alco hol and nothing so..
I feel the same way
hope ur alive buddy! I will be your new nice girlfriend “:=)
Do not try to kill yourself as revenge….I understand your pain, I woke up again today after another failed attempt at death. I understand I am mentally ill and my perception is skewered. I have 4 children, I do not want to leave them or cause them more pain. Their father died suddenly on ’07 on a job site. We have had 18 people close to us, including my husband, in-laws, and father died in the last 3 years. I do not want to hurt my kids, but I feel like human poison, like somehow everyone died because of knowing me…I just cannot stand any more loss or stress. No life insurance, lost job, cars not working, children growing up and leaving, children having problems at school, financial hell, losing house. I cannot take any more.
I don;t want to die, just don’t want to live anymore…..Lord, please just let me go from this prison of a life.
Wow you sound like me, a lot like me! Financial, good thing I really don’t care if I eat three times a day, or once a day for that matter. I still have a job though, barely, constantly on eggshells. I’ve had strep now for over a week and I let my gaurd down. Have meeting with big bosses Wednesday, sometimes I hope it will not go well more incentive to hurt self, again. In the long run no I dont want to hurt others either, but am tired of hurting internally. I used to love life and am having a very hard time getting back to that. I do have more good days put together but still not more than the bad but I’m tring. Relaxation breathing helps some. Going for drives and sitting where it’s quiet helps too! Good Luck!
Fuck that man I’m in the same spot man this bitch took over 10000 from me and cheated on me for over 2yrs.. My shut is so crushed beyond repair man.. I just took a bunch off ambeians and I’ll Sartre to twitch alot in controlbley and don’t if ifakeong since I hope this works for me!!!!! Love y’all family.. So much that’s all I ever wanted to do was to keep all of them happy and full of cheer so sorry for this (:::::::
(((((
JOHN: Did you find the right nix of pills? I am in the same boat. Or does anyone else know the right concoction?
I have no doubt she prob deserves it! But dnt let her take u under like that!
As I sit here typing this comment i have already taken my ambien about 45 minutes ago. If I do not lay down right after taking it i am bacically wide awake , or so i think….
I wont remember typing this post. If my mom is unfortunate enough to get one of my Ambien call similar to “DRUNK DIALING” I will not remember what i said but she says its always somethig “SOOO IMPORTANT”” , now, once i do stop trying to type which im sure im making a few mistake the screen is kinda blurry, I will go outside smoke a ciggarette. Then I will crawl in bed slepp till about 2:30 or 3 and zig zag into my kitchen and eat anything that i can find. Now, this I dont remember either but my husband has seen it, and when he doesnt catch me getting out of bed he finds the evidence in the morning such as cookie crumbs, dropped candy, and Krispie Kremes washed in the sink…yep washed in the sink. How can something knock you out so hard, but if i dont lay down i’m sitting here doing this, but will have no memory of it?? Anybody else, or am i the only one who can semi-focus on ambien
John…reconsider taking your life. When is your girlfriends birthday? I hope there is enough time for you to find someone to listen to you and to help you out.
Not sure how I landed here. I have chronic persistent insomnia, and only seem to find peace, releif, peace and that ever relusive sleep when taking original recipe ambien.
Increasingly, as I’ve gotten deeper and deeper in to the world of persistent insomnia, I’ve found that 10mg of regular ambien doesn’t touch me. AT ALL.
20mg gave me a handful of interesting experiences followed by pretty solid sleep.
However, to get the original buzz, the full hypnotic effect of seeing carpets and carpet drapes sway and move and seem like they are somehow alive, I need 30mg of my ambien. Is this dangerous?
AMBIENOUTRAGE.COM
My name is Devin. After sleep driving and crashing on Ambien, I was given a DUI. I’ve started an Ambien victims database. If you’ve been injured in any way by Ambien please contact me: 435-668-7050 or devindove@yahoo.com, or go to the website http://www.ambienoutrage.com.
devin, keep in touch sounds familiar you can e mail me
my friend just took 18 10mg ambien and i don’t know what to do for her
Give her a beer a high five and go out and party
you are the man!!!! Right on. I’m all for that!!!
My son just now was taken by ambulance and the police to a hospital for taking 10 ambien tabs. He was trying to commit suicide. From what I’ve read on this forum it’s not enough.
Not enough at all. In an ambien blackout I took about 40 10 mg tablets. I know of nothing that occured between taking my prescribed 20 mg dose Friday night and waking up in the emergency room Sunday. My baby girl and my 3 yr old are in CPS custody. I hate ambien more than I hate my ex husband and that is saying a LOT.
All I’ve read on this site is people blaming they’re own inadequacies on Ambien. Step up guys! This is your life! You only get one! Ending it early is a ridiculous plan, it will end anyway! Just hang in there and smoke some pot or something. Gosh you freakin wussies, there are people starving in the world! If both your legs work…..be happy about that. Go run around. Some of us can’t move anymore!
classic hippie, enough said. not in touch with the real world
I am an addict and alcoholic. I am over 35 yrs old. It sounds like a lot of you are pretty young, younger than I. If I could tell you this and you could REALLY understand and take it to heart…you might have a chance. Any drug taken to get a ‘high’ is deadly. Ambien is especially dangerous. I have been abusing it on and off since it first came out. I’m sure you know by now, Ambien numbs the part of your brain and you lose all…I mean ALL inhibitions. It doesn’t sound like most of you are taking the doses I have taken, than God! When I do get it, I usually get 30 – 10 mg pills and I take them throughout the period of one day, the next day I get one of the two refills and take another 30 that day, and then the last 30 over the 3rd day. I have no idea how I have survived, other than a very high tolerance. I have done some crazy things while on ambien that has brought me to my knees and to tears. I’ve gone to jail for driving while on Ambien. I don’t think I even understood what was going on nor did i care until it wore off in jail. I have almost hit my mother while she tried to keep me from doing some pretty crazy things. One time I was trying to let an elephant in my bathroom window and had the window wide open in the cold of winter. She came in the living room late at night b/cuz the tv was LOUD as HELL and I told her I couldn’t b/cuz of ‘them’, the people in the room with me said they couldn’t hear the tv…there was noone there. I had another episode last night. I have a family and it scares me to think of what might happen one of these times. Last night, took all 30 and ended up going to a restaurant and going table to table and telling my life story to people! Yea, IDIOT or addict. Sad, pathetic. Then, left with a guy’s wife who was much younger than I and we went looking for more drugs. We went to a bar and I KNOW I was asking LOUDLY if anyone had something. We were asked to leave. We left with 3 young guys in my car, me driving. Stupid. I am blessed I did not get pulled over or killed someone or died from overdose. I guess we were on our way to have sex with guys we didn’t know! I remember catching my senses and ended up going home to my ‘family’. I’m afraid to give too much away. Paranoid, I suppose. If you have depression, ambien will make that worse. If you mix it with the wrong meds, you can die. Funny thing, one day I might only take 6 and for some reason my heart will stop. YOURS MIGHT TOO! Go to a meeting you younger people. You have a chance to live a GOOD and PEACEFUL and HAPPY life. Don’t fall into this trap of addiction that I have. It ruins any happiness or hope for a good life. I prayed tonight for God to help me not pick up my refill. I pray you STOP taking this drug, it kills, it makes you do things like I’ve told you. And, thats not even the worst. My Mom and I were on a road trip and I was in the back seat eating my cigs!!!! Then, I was trying to jump out of the car and she had to pull over and talk me into laying down..lasting maybe a minute. Asking people at gas stations for drugs in FRONT of my poor Mother. She’s been thru this so much with me, I feel so bad for her. Anyway, this is the first time I’ve let all this out, about the ambien. I have been apart of AA on and off for almost 20 years now. It’s not so cute when you’re out of control at my age. PLEASE, I ask you from the bottom of my heart to stop this ambien or any substance abuse. It only gets worse and I mean more WORSE THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE.
Peace and love to all.
can i reply to you too? i need help
my dearset john,
I am so there with you consciensely
but please help me to help you stay alive and maybe you can do the same for me my e-mail is joy6666@aol.com please e-mail me if your still alive PLEASE !!!
I wish this world were filled with people like you! You’re inspiring. Keep up the wonderfulness, please! We need you!
Holy Shit, I came across this page looking up a safe dosage of Ambien, cuz i wanna get high but i really, really dont wanna die or anything, so just wanna keep it safe. Hey John, Joyce, I understand this message isn`t goung to make any difference but please, please don`t harm urselvs. Find someone to talk to. Each Other, Me, whatever. god, don`t kill urselves.
Ambien does not get u high it will put u to sleep or unconscious of what u r doing and then u wont feel high. So whats the point? Don’t take it. You could kill someone else if u drive a car while on it. Or end up in rsst of your life and have no idea why.
I’ve take 5 ambien over the last 3 years, is this something I should be worrked about?
oops i mean last 3 years sorry!
Ambien is a very good drug when taken in the prescribed dosage. Yes it does have risk…however the benefits greatly out wiegh the risk…I do not feel that I would be making it through Medical School if I did not take it.
Sometimes death is the only thing you feel will stop the pain I see john side as I am also very depressed due to a woman in my life. I have taken 3 ambein so far an thing are going in and out of focus. I doubt its enough to kill me but it should atleast take my mind off the girl that ripped my heart out by cheating on me.
i’ve taken that and it snot so bad. i’m about five four about 120 lb so yeah.
Been there dont that, same reasons! anything worth doing is worth doing right get yourself some percocets they make you happy an realaxed
I have a terrible case of insomnia — it is horrible. When I don’t take a sleep aid, I lay down barely fall asleep, I am barely unconscious. I put the sleep timer on the TV, I awake at the “sound” of the TV turning off. I’m in and out of sleep all night. It is the worst feeling in the work to wake up more tired then when you went to bed. I started taking Ambien CR 12.5 mg and it works pretty well, probably too well. I scared my boyfriend to death one night while we were on vacation — the fire alarm went off in the hotel room, the rest of the hotel. The hotel had to be evacuated. I slept through the entire thing on Ambien CR. He had to carry me out of the hotel. I am a pretty thin girl, and really think it is just too much drug for my system, I get terrible “hangovers” the next day from Ambien CR too. So, I’m damned if I do, damned if I don’t. Anyway, wondering if anyone has tried the Ambien CR 6.25 mg dose? From what I’ve read that dosage is only used in the elderly. Curious if anyone has taken both dosages and what they think.
I’ve taken Ambien for nearly 3 months now and a week or so ago I started having episodes of sleepwalking. I was waking up with cuts and bruises on my shins and sore spots elsewhere on my body. One night my wife heard me banging around downstairs and looked out the window to find me standing outside beside the car with keys in hand. She managed to get me back inside and back to bed, but I had no memory of the incident or of the conversation that took place between us. Thank God she caught me before I hurt myself or someone else. After reporting this and several similar incidents to my doctor, he changed my prescription to restaril. We’ll see how that goes.
To those who would use this medicine or another means to end your life: You are pathetic, self-centered and selfish individuals. People like you never think about the ones you leave behind to clean up and deal with your messes. Suck it up, learn to stand on your own two feet and stop feeling sorry for yourself. People like you make me sick.
Editor’s Note: Tedd, you should understand that most of the people making comments like this are having serious emotional problems that they don’t have a lot of control over. Perhaps you should search your soul for greater compassion.
Tedd,
really man, shit i would love to be like you. lucky to be happy, but most of us aren’t. Depression, Anxiety, Psychosis, is not something that you just get over. they can be so debilitating that every second of your life is pain. yes, tedd even physical pain.
and an alternate to us being selfish, maybe it’s you whom are being selfish. If they loved that person who killed themselves they could understand the PAIN that was their life. right now the reason I’m living is because of those people who would be hurt. and that’s not fair
you’re cold and heartless. that’s all i have t say
you r cold and heartless. people who kill themselves, its because no one is there for them. so, all those around them actually deserve it. karma.
Agreed.
Some people are completely incapable of feeling compassion. Tedd is just like my roommate, and I have met many others like him. They all have one thing in common: they are incapable of being concerned about the feelings of anyone other than themselves.
this is exactly how all of my friends are towards me.. its getting pretty desolate for me these days…
teds Never been in the wourld wind of shit! some possibly created by our own hand. teds clearly never strugled probably handed a nice life to young to see the shit storm brewwing And when it hit ted tearing eyed will B hitting the meddison cabinet to trying and fin a bottle of peace
I think all of you people need to grow up and put a little effort into your life like everyone else does instead of complaining about how horrible it is. If u were gonna kill urself, you wouldn’t be on this website talking about it, you would’ve already done it. Ugh childish is what it is, and attention, it’s annoying. All of you people need to grow up and get up and find a hobby. Fuckin losers, seriously.
I just got out of rehab and talked to many people there who would take Ambien and drive to the store etc. and wake up the next morning and find huge dents in their cars. Also a guy in rehab drove his car off a cliff two times and crashed into a Fed Ex truck and a car while on Ambien and OxyContin.
Before I went to rehab I was taking up to 12 Ambien a night with alcohol and also over a dozen benzodiazepines, like xanax, during the day. I was so addicted to sleeping pills I could not imagine sleeping without them and have been using them for 10 years.
I’m so happy that I can finally sleep without sleeping pills and am off prescription drugs for the first time in ten years. It was well worth $40,000 for rehab! Prescription drugs (including Ambien) led to many problems for me such as failed relationships, near death, seizures, an eating disorder, crashing a car, legal problems and wasting much of my time taking pills, getting pills, etc.
Ambien is very addictive and I want to warn everyone about the dangers of this drug.
did u have any other prob after drinking with these drugs?
cuz they say kill u or coma?
Ted, the comments that you made shows you don’t understand why people do these types of things. Many suicide attempts or successions do think about the people they leave behind. You tell me that if someone very, very close to you were in agonizing pain 24/7 365 days a year for many years that you would love watching them suffer just as long as they live just for you. Now put yourself in those people’s shoes. You can hardly walk because of the pain so you use a cane, crutches or a walker to get around. Sitting or even laying in bed or chair hurts and sometimes bad enough you start crying. Then you have an episode that is the mother of all episodes that you vomit and have a bowl movement all over yourself. Your spouse, significant other has to clean up after you because you can barely move and need help. You sleep in separate bedrooms because of the moaning and screaming in pain when you move. So you sleep away from everyone because you don’t want to keep them awake, since they need the sleep to go to work. Your family is possibly going to be put out on the street because you can’t work anymore and you are a two income family so you can pay bills and purchase food. Lets not forget the conversations being had behind your back about the suffering the family is being put through because of your pain, and you get to hear it on occasion because they forget you are in the other room or just an ear shot away. It goes on and on and this just started four years ago and you have a lifetime of this left. These people do think about others and the hell YOU are putting them through, forget your suffering because there are three being put through HELL and you are only one. This is only ONE GOOD REASON for attempting or succeeding suicide.
I don’t for sorry for you because you are one of the many people that get to live a normal life one without constant pain. You also don’t have to be in physical pain to have a reason for the attempts or successful attempt. Some people have something wrong with the wiring in their brain. It’s like a computer, if you get a virus or a boost of voltage the PC will start to freeze up then slowly move but move the wrong way. You don’t have to feel sorry for anyone, but please keep those comments to your self it does no good to anyone. Someday I hope you understand why this behavior goes on.
I have taken ambien 10mg for several years. One day after I didn’t get the required 8 hours of sleep that you need when you take one of them, I almost hit a car head on and it didn’t even scare me. I tried sleeping without them and couldn’t do it so I cut the pill in half and only take 5 mg a night and it works great for me. It helps me get to sleep and I easily sleep from 10:00 to 5 and I don’t have that hung over, groggy feeling and my memory is back to normal. Hope this suggestion is helpful to someone.
thank you for sharing your technique; I will try it at once!
Probably the placebo affect rplays a role, with such a small dosa
Youre smarter than the ambient— You Go Girl!
Teresa
I am contemplating taking 30 or perhaps 60 10mg of ambien if I can get another refill in a month or so. I am recently divorced, my mother just passed away and my ex wife convinced my 12 year old son, and through him the police, that I abused him by pulling his ear and grabbing his collar after he lied [again] about his homework. It was the first time I ever disciplined him in this manner. I never even spanked him before. I face six years in prison and am now being denied access to both him and my other daughter who is 15 months old. I have a prior domestic battery that I plead to rather than fight and now it looks like I am losing everything.
Dave. Please do not end your life!! I am in the same situation as you with my three children. My ex husband has a lot of money and like you, i was acused of child abuse, but never had a charge. I have not been able to see my children for almost 6 years due to the court system. I still have joint custody, but my ex has totally denied me any visitation or talking to them on the phone. believe me i have thought about killing myself, but then i look for the bright side of maybe one day seeing my children and having all the paperwork to show them of what their father has done to keep us apart. I pleaded to a charge that i never should have also, but at the time it seemed to be better than going through more divorce problems and hurting the kids even more. I have just had to finally realize that i will see my children one day and i am sure they will have so many questions, where i will be able to show them the truth. I am an EMT and i save lives, ironic how I feel like ending mine too. We have to be strong because there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!!!!!!
Damn it fight. What are you going to teach your children. the guilt your son will live with. They say that people thst commit suicide are very selfish. Great! That is the memory u want to leave with your children. Damn it get off your ass get help and show your kids what a real dad is. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Get to a good Shrink get some meds for depression and get to a talk therapist and fix it.
Oh if only it were that easy. Some people have all of those things and it doesn’t make a bit of difference. Friends don’t call they have their own lives. Family lives far away or doesn’t care. And therapists can only help in a limited way. If and when it gets at its worst nothing matters anymore and no one cares and that is the reality.
wonder if i will die after drinking & taking way 2 many ambien
I know the feeling. Been through it. Please stay strong.
I have MS no chidren, divorced. well my story is to long to tell. I’m so tired of being trapped in this body that no longer allow me to be the person I was. I can not enjoy life and all the wonders of it anymore. I’m numb all over, no balance, can hardly walk. my lower back is in constant pain. Life as I knew it is a distant memory.I’m so tired, and no one really understands. I jusst want to check out.I’m 5’8″ about 145lbs. I wonder how many 10mg ambien would it take to put me out of this misery?
i can’t take it anymore. i’ve tried different overdoses; the worst was asprin! i ordeed a large order of ambien. i’ve treid ten at most with no results. do you know how much it would take? i can’t take the memories, i can’t take one more second of being alive. i want to go to sleep and not wake up. this isn’t going to blow over and i don’t want to get ‘accidently’ found this time. have any segs?
I feel the same way. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. People would be better off without me. I would like to figue out a combination of pills that works and no vomitting and going to the hospital.
I’m not any better without you! Neither is this world! Hang in there!
i feel the same way. you’re not alone. want to end this as soon as possible een though i have a bbright future aheard of me i feel like such a fail ure. and i’m eart broken. so eyah
Are you okay now? Just read your post, from last year this time…Hoping things are better now…Tess
I believe that no one can die from Ambien no matter how many they take. I took 200 10mg ambien and woke up the next morning as if nothing has ever happened
It would depend on many factors. Consider ht, weight, extensive knowledge of pharmacology.
If you simultaneously work on how you can avoid ambien as much as possible.
See a dietitian.
Best of luck!@
Feel free to contact me for support.
liar… 200 10mg and woke up the next morning… whatever…. like woke up the next year or so..
You really woke up the next day and nothing happened? Not even going to the hospital? I was thinking about taking ambien and xanax. But if it’s not worth it because I do need these medications on a day to day basis.
200 huh? I took 100 and woke up fine, a little shocked I was alive, but fine.
Actually, it takes over 400mg. Esepcially if you’re heavier set it takes more.
Well, i have to say i’m always thinking about whether i should try and overdose on some ambien or something.My life is surely not as horrible as some people’s but i just dont feel satisfied with how i am.I’m always say to myself that its pathetic that i dont have a bunch of close friends or that i havent even gotten a boyfriend yet.I sometimes feel that i souldnt even talk b/c i’m stupid and no one really cares what i’m saying. I dont know if i really would want to die or if i just want attention.I just keep picturing myself doing it at school so my dad wouldnt find me.I’m just so confused right now…oh by the way i’m only 18..sad!
Britney…That is sad that you feel that way. Maybe you should tell your father how you are feeling and get some help. I would like to say that even if your father doesnt find you, he will still suffer unbelievable pain of your loss. For the rest of his life he will grieve. I know, because someone I loved and that I was very close to commited suicide. I have suffered many days and nights due to his actions. Please get help and dont give up…Life does and will get better. God Bless
Life get better! I promise! You know all those 18 year old morons that are surrounding you? They go away! I swear! They all end up insurance salesman or grease monkeys in the same town they grew up in! But you! you Brittany! You’re the type of person who can do something! You’re a thinker, we can tell. Just hangin there! I hope you’re still here
What the hell?? This website is not real. This is all made up. I don’t believe a word of it. (Except that if abused Ambien is dangerous.) Stupid.
Hi Rachel,
The comments on this site may or may not be true, but they are all from visitors to the website. If they are fictional, it is our users who are being dishonest, not the site staff.
I am thinking that using Ambien to OD outright will never work, no one seems to have much luck doing it. I tried once by taking a whole box of dramamine (Dimenhydrinate) many many years ago. All it did was give me nasty convulsions (like suffocating/choking nasty things). Now I have Ambien, and I THINK, IF I were to try to die again, I would just go outside in the winter in the forest where no one will find me and too far for me to hike back out in time (if I sleep walk) and just lay down and go to sleep and die from exposure/hypothermia. Three would knock me out really solid, and so long as it’s cold enough, it should work. Or I could take them and then jump off the top of the mountain, but that takes guts, and even sleep walking on Ambien, I’d probably still never be able to jump. All I really want is to not be alone, and to be loved, but that never seems to happen. So I have these thoughts. I don’t think I AM suicidal, but the thoughts do run through my head on IF I were HOW would I try it. I tried to OD once, it wasn’t awesome, it sucked. Has to be a better way.
we are exactly alike…..but still no-one has answered my q.
You probably feel much better now, than when you posted on this site in the fall of 2009. But I loved your wit–probably unintentional–and I hope that you are feeling more hopeful now. You’re a smart person… i do hope that you are feeling better these days…Tess
Wow it’s so sad that many are seeking help to kill themselves. Look people you need to talk to someone and soon. A good start would be with your doctor! I have been taking ambien for over four years now. I have never thought of killing myself. I am always worried if I already took on that night, if I can’t remember then I don’t take one.
I became addicted to ambien Ambien and it ruined my life.
It was a very gradual addiction. Started using it a few times a year when I traveled. Then it was a few times per week at home… And I needed more of it to get me to sleep.
While using Ambien, I always felt uncertain and agitated. My judgement and thinking became disorganized. My short term memory got very bad…thoughts would evaporate and disappear. That I could not concentrate at work is an understatement. My firm terminated my employment due to my inability to form cogent thought patterns and utilize sound judgement.
If I could get a do-over, I would gladly take a couple nights of little or no sleep and have my life back !
Please beware of this drug.
Bulls*** !! There are no addictions to Ambien. Maybe your short term memory was never up to par. Perhaps they should have fired you long before now.
John, you are a very angry person. Yes, it is a fact that you can get addicted to Ambien and if you are a long term users, you will get withdrawals, bad enough that you may need to go to rehab. Get your facts straight.
same here
Wow! Really! That was a little harsh don’t cha think? We do still have doctors out there that like to give scripts like candy! This is a feel free to speak your mind site please becareful of what and how you say things. I sure wouldn’t want to be the one who causes or caused a person to try harder to end their life!
You are so wrong! You can become addicted to ANYTHING…coffee, ciggs, shopping, dogs, you name it!
And yes, you can become addicted to Ambien! Dumb ass!
My friend recently tired to harm herself by taking 3 to 5 Ambien 6.5..she had been drinking that night too and was probably to the legal point of intoxication. Got her to vomit sveral times but did’nt really see the pills-it was only maybe 10 min between when she took them and i got her to vomit several times. She was really lethargic but able to walk with assistance. She went to to ER and they monitored. Could that dosage-3 to 5 or 6 of those 6.5 have killed her? She’s about 5’4″ and thin to medium build. Just wondering if anyone out there had similar experience. This is driving me absolutely crazy that she could have done something like this and I just live in constant fear for her safety. She was counseled and is going for more counseling…she contacted me after what she had done so I don’t think she really wanted to end it but I need to hear from anyone with similar experiences. It that just a cry for help? Is there a good chance she wouldn’t have been harmed? What is the likelyhood she would do something like this again. She says she has leaned and would NEVER do this again but i just feel like I don’t know her anyomre and I just worry constantly.
dont worry, the dosage on those pills was relatively low, and even mixing them with the alcohol, she’d probably be very tired, kinda out of it, and maybe a lil sick, but she would definately be ok…what you need to worry about is if she really learned her lesson or not because if she didnt. unfortunately shell have learned what doesnt do it for her and she will try harder
Don’t hold yourself responsible for another’s life. This person had no right to impose her pain on you. I am such a person, wanting to suicide, but I would never share that to anyone I know. It’s way too much of a burden for any friend or relative to live with, very unfair. Whether or not your friend tries again is her responsibility, and that of her counselors, not yours.
Cry for help. I hate that term. It’s dismissive of the pain the person who attempts suicide feels. Just because she may or may not have taken enough to kill her doesn’t mean she wasn’t serious it just means she wasn’t educated.
I’m off to bed now I take one ambien a night and have for years. I don’t have a problem with it but my son does. I wish I could do more for him. We’ve offered free counseling for him and have taken him to some counseling services. He just got out of rehab for prescription overdose. We had to kick him out because of his anger problem. He was threatening to hit me. I think we’ve tried everything.
Perhaps you should get rid of the son Ambien is not the demon. People like you should not procreate.
Perhaps _you_ should learn to construct proper sentences, John…
if you wanna kill yourself. dont try ambien. its not going to work. go to walgreens and buy 3 bottles of advil and take all three bottles. that shit ill kill you. not ambien….
I am an emt. As of this morning i helped save a guy that tried to end his life with ambien. People do you realize that we have a friend that is the best friend of all and his name is Jesus. He promised to never leave us nor forsake us and he promised to never give us more than we can bare. And we need to realize that if we do this to ourselves we cause more pain to our friends and family than we have in our lives that we are trying to run from. Let us also remind ourselves that we cannot be saved if we take our lives into our own hands and hell is way worse place to go than here on earth no matter what we are going through. I hope and pray that if there is anyone out there that is contemplating taking their own life into their own hands that you would reconsider and cry out to god and ask Him to relieve you from your hurts. He will do that if you only ask and then let him take control of your life.
Thank you keven, no words could of said it better. I am a preacher’s wife and still have thoughts of sucide but I know the truth and God has definitly pulled me out of a bad place. The fear of Hell I have to say is what kept me (also the fear of pain) People please listen to him and realize there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been at the bottom and on my way up. Ending your life is not the answer. No matter what you have done, Jesus has always been there with open arms waiting for you. He does not care what you have done in the past cause he forgives. Please anyone that would like to talk to me please feel free to email me at kajama75@yahoo.com, I will most definity e-mail back. Everyone of you are special to him… please realize that you were created a purpose. God Bless you all
Kevin, thank you!! Thank you for showing me Jesus! If you’ve never shown him before, you led me to Jesus. I pray he helps me and I give it all to him. He has GOT to help me.
Excellent reply, Kevin. We could all use more EMTs and Paramedics with your compassion and insight. Listen up everyone: this is a man to pay attention to…
This is crap. Your Jesus got me into this situation. Thanks but not thanks. God is toxic.
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BOB
Jesus can rest assured, he won’t kill himself with Ambien It would be like killing yourself with garlic.
LISTEN! suicide is not the way to “get back” at someone or make them feel the same pain you felt. If you want her/him to really understand things, let his/her birthday come and go and all the while, you be growing in confidence, talking to other girls or even telling her that you wish her the best and had some good times but it’s for the best. all suicide will do is hurt YOU and your FAMILY. It’s the most irresponsible, wreckless and cowardly act to leave your family to remember you by. show everyone how mature you are and how much you really DID care and you never know what the future will bring back to you. that girl/boy may just come crawling back into your life if you’re as mature and responsible as you can be. peace and love.
I came to this site to find out how many ambien were need to end it all. I am sitting here crying because from what I read it is impossible. Guess I’ll have to find another way.
Things are not that bad ever. You must expect to have things happen, that’s life. They will be resolved as days go by. Love yourself, I know you deserve it. God bless you and keep you save.
Just figured out benzos cant kill you and you are crying because for some reason you cant find another way. Just another overly emotional female crying wolf. ALCOHOL!!
You, sir, are the worst sort of fool: you pass on your ignorance to others.
Bravo, Dr.Jack!
you will die. trust me. i know my pills. please dont though. thanx for listening.
Good grief people. Life has its up and downs for everyone; don’t focus on being stuck in a hole. No matter what situation you are in you can fix it. Just try smiling more; meeting new people, seeing new places, change your job. Life has so much joy and love in store for everyone and its very easy to see if you just allow yourself to remain optimistic and view life in a positive way. Learn to not take things so seriously, join a church and meet some people there.
You will lose everything if you actually killed yourself. And everyone who knows and loves you will lose that to. The world is amazing, don’t let yourself give up. Things get better eventually I promise, but you just have to work for it.
Incredibly shallow response. I have been suffering from depression for 20years, “smiling” and “not taking things so seriously” really shows your lack of understanding and empathy for this disease. Unless you have yourself recovered from serious mental illness or are pshyciatrist/ clinical pschycologist you should refrain from giving advice.
I am posting partly because I want to see if these comments are real or made up.
If they are real, I have to agree with glassparrow, that unless you are a professional, or someone who has been severely depressed, you can’t and shouldn’t comment.
Patrick
10 years ago I may have said this same thing. I was strong, self sufficient, I had never run into ANYTHING that could get me down.
And then it happened to me…
Your response isn’t “horrible” but it clearly shows a lack of understanding. May I say ignorance.
Severe clinical depression can take you down to a hell you can’t imagine unless it’s happened to you. Things often don’t get better without some sort of intervention. And suicide seems like a perfectly logical method to stop the pain.
I lost over 5 years of my life to it.
to levels you could never understand…
no. tired of asking him for guidance, just tired of everything.
bp,
We have a saying in EMS when we are called to the scene of a potential overdose. I always remind my patients that suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
I will tell you that for over 7 years, I lived in the same mind set you are living in now and although it was not easy, I made it through to the other side and now I am as happy as I have every been. If I can pull myself up from that dark deep hole, you can too. I don’t know if you are a christian. But I consider myself a “non committed Christian”, but I prayed to God a lot every night for his help and guidance in my daily life and eventually he did. There are a lot of people that have attempted suicide and failed, only to end up malformed or brain damaged from the attempt.
No matter if you feel no one cares, everyone has some family, co-workers, or friends that would be affected by your actions, plus you have to stick around to see what life has planned for your next life chapter. I’m glad I did.
Just remember, once your are at rock bottom, there’s only one way left to go…..up.
I hope you give this some serious thought. And remember GOD loves you more than anyone else and his love is unconditional love.
Are you for real!? Depression is not a temporary problem. It is permanent. Depression cannot be cured like the common cold. It can only be repressed through drugs and therapy and like cancer can always come back and not respond to any drug or therapy. The only cure is death. It is genetically passed down like any other incurable disease. A person doesn’t just decide they are going to make their lives harder and become depressed. THEY ARE BORN WITH IT YOU S— FOR BRAINS OF A HUMAN BEING.
What med school did you go to kid? Talk to a pro, not this clown! She knows nothing
this is very disturbing not enough advice on the gifts to follow when you choose to live your life no matter what comes your way. it always gets better when you choose life. you have made a descision that there are two choices life or death. and that descision means that you are worth it!!
listen up!!!! there are two descisions life or death.
Choose life and you have decided that you are worth it .
Life always gets better, maybe not in your time but it does get better. decide that you matter. you r at a turning point
where one descision ends and the other is a new begginning. a new you. You matter from now on !! trust me i have been there
hi, I am here to help in any way I can! I used to use Ambein, and have had two failed suicide attemps,THANK GOD!!! I didnt even know what I was doing. Ambein has a memory blocking effect, so thats why I cant remember the attemps on my life. Any way I have written on this bog before and my story is under” sharon coop” tues. march09, 1:42a.m. Please read!!!!!! If you cant find it email me and Ill share it with you. My purpose is help others into stopping this deadly drug. If you need help? EMAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have two amazing kids that i was blessed to be given, but i also have an extremely mentally abusive husband that thrives on my demise. tonight i couldn’t take the hurt anymore, the pain he has put me through is too much to deal with. i really don’t want to leave this world, but i want this pain to go away. i took three 12.5mg amb. with a glass of wine and am scared that i’ve went too far.
Well, I am a an RN in Pschiatric Family Practice NP schoo, so if those credentails help-coool.
If not, BECKY, what do you want out of life? do you ant he im to just care for your children for a while until you cna get it toghter? There is so much more to this…….plese call 720854904 if questions, ETC.
Ambien adn wine dont really work BTW, you just sleepier…………..:)
Melissa
How did you get through nursing school being unable to compose a proper sentence?
I would like he lp with this issue
Can I( kill myself with ambien
I have been on Ambien CR for three to four years. I have tried many times to get off of it with no success. They say it is non-additive, but I don’t believe it. Some have said that instead, it is habbit forming. Habit forming or additive, whichever, it is all the same to me. It is though I have been trapped by the medical community, Dr. Haynes (sleep specialist) in particular. I realize that their original intentions may have come accross as trying to help, yet on the darker side, it is all about the money. The doctor gets you hooked, the drug company is guarnteed to make money, as well as the doctor is assured of repeat business against the patient’s will. What more could these people ask for. I am not saying that ambien is bad in and of itself, it is just that I want to use it on my terms; that is to say that if I want to take two of them in a single night, who the hell is the DEA to say otherwise. The tolorence can become so great that taking ambien is like taking nothing at all. But dare to go without it, and you could risk a heart attack according to my pharmacist, because doing without this addidictive drug (ambien) increases heart rate and increases anxiety, etc. When I take ambien, I become more of a compulsive eater late at night, making me fatter that ever. I feel life is not worth living anymore. My wife seems to care, but she really doesn’t understand, so I am totally alone in this.I suppose the only real revenge I can achieve regarding ambien is to check out with the whole lot of them as my last and final friend.
hey,
Ambien does increase depression, anxiey, but what the heck, you can requst Xananx 0.25 or 0.5 BID for anxiety. give it a shot, let me know what happens. I started the Xanax, dont take any othe it beftore heading to work (7p=7a) but do when I do home. I sleep longer with the Xananz.
Hows it going I have been navigating your blog for the past week or two and it is , how many followers do you receive?
On Thursday I was given a prescription for Ambien CR. I was given 30 12.5 mg. The first night I took them I thought I feel asleep, but when I woke up the next morning there were over 10 tablets missing. I went to work… feeling like crud. I had overslept. That evening I was so exhausted so I took one, which was what it asked for, and the next thing I remember was my friend had driven over 30 min to come check up on me. I woke up and she was looking right at me. By the next morning I had 1 Ambien CR left in the bottle. I’m not a druggie. I feel horrible about this. This means that in two days I took almost 30 Ambien CR. I feel horrible. I can’t talk about it because it will just sound horrible to other people. Is there anyone who can at least tell me i’m not nuts here? I fear that this is still in my blood killing me even if I don’t want it to.
B
You need to talk to your doctor about this. If he or she doesn’t understand find a good psychiatrist who does. They can find a medication that works better for you. Ambien is not the only sleep aid.
Hi I just almost died from ambien. I took one and all I remember was having my leg stuck in a window screaming help. I ended up in the er. I am so scared of this drug. It should be taken off market. Every person I know has or knows someone who has had a horrible experience. It even has a name. Ambien sicosis!!!!!! Those of us who value and love our lives need to do all we can to get this drug banned!!
I have been depressed for 45 years. Doctors and therapy have not helped. I am alone and almost to the end of my rope. I think about suicide constantly. How many ambiens will do the job?
Oh please do not be thinking that way–I understand completely but I hope that you will stop this with all the strength that you have within you, and that God can give.
I know how painful it can be–I’m older than you, I’m sure, and have been “faking it” for many years–scared to death that people would see what happened in the very distant past…I am certainly not in a position to tell you what to do, as Ambien has been a major factor in my life, too…But could you just check yourself in to a hospital, and tell them how you are feeling? Please please do not give up. We have to believe in ourselves….and in hope…Love, Tess
I’ve had so many attempts using Ambien and Klonopin (lately, 20 ambien and 5 two mg. Klonopin. At work they love me. I do a great job, but the moment I leave that parking lot all I can think is leaving this world ASAP. My daughter is also suicidal but she is young, with two small boys. I am a grandmother. Nobody needs me anymore. The kids are grown, I have no friends, except work friends, and that’s it. I have two pregnant daughters but I don’t think I can wait that long to see their babies. I also have physical problems and I’d rather die than let them advance and kill me slowly. I don’t think that’s necessarily irrational.
No, Tes, it’s too late. It’s the number one thing I want to do is leave this world. Now there’s someone who knew someone who took 400 ambien and it STILL didn’t kill them. How discouraging! If I can’t find someone to help me through to the other side here, I will have to find something different, a different combination.
ambien cant kill you. there is a report of someone taking 4000mg, they just slept for a few days. stop trying to talk these people out of suicide, yall. all this life gets better crap, no, sometimes it gets worse, or stays the same unendingly. i want to go to sleep every night and never wake up. my life is ok, but i have no one and get no joy out of it what-so-ever.
As soon as you get the answer let me know…
i hear so much pain in the these emails and it gives me hope. for a person to feel such desolation opens the mind to the capacity of true joy. true freedom comes from letting go of this obsession of what we ‘think’ we are supposed to be, and accepting ‘now’ as it comes each moment. i hear many wonderful questions, and assure you there are answers for what you seek. the buddha and krishna and jesus are all great beginnings and have been my guide, but in the end you are your greatest teacher. find something that feels healthy and right and keep doing it. for me exercise, meditation, yoga and surrender to God have given me much peace after my tragedy. i wish you luck. swami vivekananda told us that this life is a great gymnasium of pain, in which we grow stronger. happiness is perspective, the good news is we have 100% control over our perspective, what else can you say that about?
namaste
you know sometimes you know it’s your time….life has lost all value and your mission on earth is accomplished….and you know it…now I just want to gracefully and comfortably move on to the next stage. My hopes are to do it in a seemingly comfortable manner with Ambien/mix but will resort to a firearm if necessary….would someone please help me with a recommendation to help ensure my first attempt is a successful attempt …thank you for any advise…
Greg, I’m not sure if you did this. But my father killed himself Monday morning, June 21st. He was 68 years old and loved by many. He copied your words to the letter and pasted them into his suicide note. Please if you are still alive, please know this is not a solution. Our family will never be the same. I will never be the same and my father will never be with me again. I’m giving birth to my second child on July 20th and he never even got to hear that I was going to name the child after him. Your words meant something to him, enough that in his darkest hour he chose them as his own. What a shame. Don’t do it.
I understand how greg feels. i have started therapy to get out of my depression but i feel like i am only getting worst. i am extremely successful in the external world and no one imagines how sad, lonely, and depressed i am. as a matter of fact everyone always says i have the kind of life that most people would trade for. yet everyday i get home and close the doors the demons inside of me take over. I have forgiven the past but the past refuses to forgive me. I truly dont know what to do. I just feel like I am holding on to the inevitable. My partnre has kept me from killing myself for almost four years now and she herself is tired. As soon as she gives up on me which she has began I know I will loose the anchor that has kept me afloat in the short term. I am hoping to make it to 30 but I dont know if I can make it that far.
Are you still with us G?
I am a new Greg!
U still with us G?
I have taken 20 mg of ambien and only slept 2 hours. You build up a tolerance to it. YES!! It is addictive. I am hurting now to say that I am addictive. My wife is an RN and she sees my addiction now and how badly it is hurting me. I’ve had quadruple heart bypass, lost my wife of 18 years, my father, 2 house fires, and my kids are stronger than I am. I should be the “man”. I should be the “tough” guy for our family. Now, here I am fighting depression. Kill myself? NO WAY! Lucy and I have been married for 2 years, now we find out we have a baby together on the way. You’d think I would snap out of it. I hurt. I have forgiven the things of the past, but I still hurt. Depression is very real and everyone hanldles it differently. I know what Jesus has done for me and my life. I pray that all of us here readijg these bloggers read, study, find what you are looking for and KNOW THAT JESUS LOVES YOU SO MUCN. Talk to Him like you would me. He is there, waiting to hear from you. We are none her by mistake. I am praying for all of you and you do the same for myself and my family. We just foud out wa are havinf a bby Bella or Baby Caydenl Please keep my family in you prauers. we Need fjem
tired of my life too. I want to go to sleep and never wake up on earth again. i am so sick of letting my family and friends down
I feel the same way. I have battled depression since my teen years, I am so tired now. All I do is let my daughter down, my husband down…
If been taking large doses of trazodone,zolpidem, trying to commit suicide becuse a girl named jenny loveridge used me and now i cant sleep, cant even think without thinking of her
awww…..please don’t feel badly…please. talk to me first.
I want to die . period. Ambien use to be my praise God drug…I got SOME sleep!Now I am so depressed I don’t know what to do with myself. I need more of the 10 mg to work. I’m afraid I’m going to od on taking too much and adding alchohol with it. Pray with me yall…it’s a serious thing…I think it throws you into a deeper spiral of deep depression
Godbless us all….we are stronger than this!
oh my i have rx’s for trazodone 100mg is this worse?
oh geeez we need to start a lil’ group for all of us…for real! I’ll rent a hotel room or put up a garage for us to hang in….any takers??
I hope I can find this page again!!!!! yall better keep my email plz!
love to all
I have been withdrawing from Clonazepam (2-4mg) for 8 days after 3 months. During that time I also have been taking 20-40mg of ambien at night. In the last 8 days just taking the ambien has made my withdrawl during the day absolutely unbearable. I want to sleep but I am afraid because my blood pressure has subsequently gone through the roof (170/105/heartbeat 96). Am I going to survive. Need help and advice. Thanks.
You need to DETOX from the Ambien. I had to because you will go into sleep deprovation after the second or third night and if you do get any sleep they will most likely be nightmares. Under a doctors supervision he should prescribe Klonopin for about four days (no more than four). the rest is will power! I was admitted and given all kinds of meds for a week to keep me sane! Havent touched it since!!!
Nevermind! I just saw where you are abusing Klonipin as well! Admit yourself to Detox!
Everyone that wants to kill themselves by ODing on Ambien is dumb. Go jump leap off your apartment building or throw a toaster in your bathtub already.
Quit whining about how you only took 3, or 30, or 100, or two thousand Ambiens and are still here. Go jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and tell us how you do after that.
gooogled it- Your statement is disgusting, insensitive, callous, and inhumane. How could you in good conscience suggest that suicidal people jump off a bridge? Do you have no remorse or respect for people who are suffering from serious mental illnesses? You’re evil.
Okay so I am pretty sure I’m dyslexic and I’ve had a learning disability my whole life. I’ve creaked my self out on so much adderal and came to the conclusion that my brain was not made for school. The only thing in life that would make me happy is to academically succeed and to create perfect reading skills so I can rise to the top at what ever I want to do with my life. But unfortunately that will never happen because I don’t think I am smart enough for school and life. I am 20 years old and have been going to a speech pathologist for 8 months now to work on spelling and all it is helping me with is my ability to decode words and spell.. like my general ability to chill out with a book and read it is not improving…I’m still adhd and dyslexic. ANYWAYS!!… I have a bottle of ambien next to me and I want to die! I’m not even depressed I just don’t want to live life wishing I was smarter and had the abilities that it takes to succeed the I will never have. SOOooo… I’m 180 and 6 feet tall, if I take 30 10mg pills of ambien will it kill me??!! I could go down stares and shoot myself with my dads gun but I don’t want to wake up m whole family! Because I’d rather die alone in my room than making it dramatic with a gun shooting that wakes up the family… and it sucks cuz my dad takes that gun with him were ever he goes so if I do choose to use the gun to kill my self, then it would have to be when he’s home!!! sooooo would 300mg kill me??
This may sound callous because I’m not going to try to talk any of you out of committing suicide. There are enough other posts like that. I’m not saying you should, but I really don’t know how to convince anyone of how devastating that can be to your loved ones. So I just want to say, if you do decide to do that, PLEASE AT LEAST LEAVE A NOTE. If you don’t, you leave them wondering why and blaming themselves. And please don’t do it where someone you care about will be the one to find you.
I’m high on Ambien and it’s delicious.
yea!!!
woooooooooooooo! bablam!
I read the above and , the common theme is: How many will it take?
I also want to know.
A bottle of ambien won’t do it.
A bottle of xanax won’t do it.
A bottle of zoloft won’t do it.
Will the combination do it?
Probably not! I tried for five days to committ suicide and here is what I took. First night, 130mg of Ambien in a bath passed out fell back hit back of head and left shoulder, hmmm 3 hrs later woke up with a severe headache, went in and out of consciencousness, took 4 7.5mg vicodin and norco’s and 20 extra strength tylenol, fell back into a another stupor, decided to go to the ER to have the head checked for concussion, mind you I am still barely able to drive still and walking took a lot of thought to do. They never knew I OD’d yes concussion no driving ok. Went to the pharmacy picked up another perscription for the nausea from the concussion, oh boy! Went home took 50mg of that which knocked my ass out for 6hrs. still barely able to walk, took 900mg of Zoloft and went in the next morning to see my GP for recheck on Concussion mind you still in OD status barely able to walk let alone drive, almost fell at the GP’s office right in front of the nurse and she did nothing, off from work two more days, this crazyness went on another day and a half in the end I still wished at some point something had worked, I really should be DEAD for everything I took, inbetween the big doses I took painkillers and tylenol everytime. I’m to the point where only a gun will work.
Just my point. People are blind or don’t care.
Totalling my car into a tree at 60mph didn’t do it for me either. Punching myself unconscious didn’t work too well… 3/4 a handle of bicardi supreme 10 colonopins and a couple ambien didn’t do it. But the funny thing is that I don’t sit around and try to commit suicide anymore, feeling sorry for myself and making sure that everyone felt sorry for me through cryouts on fb for attention. Calling my exgf saying if she doesn’t get back together with me I’m gonna do it (I did that almost every day after we broke up). It’s the addictive behavior that I got rid of. The addictiveness of getting on the phone to call the person you’re dying to get to listen to you ramble about your suicide thoughts and actions, and threaten to them that you will do it. YOU REALLY FUCKING WILL THIS TIME!, right? And that’s the shit you people need to stop. yeah you might have some depression caused by traumatic events in yo life and what not, but you’re still all addicts of suicidal behavior. Fix that problem first, then you will be able to deal with the bullshit in life that’s been making you feel this way.
I am going through hardest time of my life..n all i can think about is taking an overdose on ambien to never wake up wondering if this will be the final overdose to end it. Feels no one will understand me.
overdosing on Ambien probably wont kill you! It has a VERY short half life!
WOW! There are alot of pu&&ies on this site. I just wanted to find out if I took an extra dose if it would kill me or mess me up in a bad way. You guys are talking about some off the wall stuff. If you want to kill yourself than I feel for you and mostly your family and friends. If you trully have none than oh well. We have no special purpose and the world will go on with out you. Death is easy. Life is hard but the results can be great if you try and are realistic with your potential. Just dont expect any virgins or heaven. You will just go to sleap and rot. Easier than some of the other ways to die!
Just dont take a crap load over an extended period of time like I did. Yes, I did love the euphoria but kept getting my ass in trouble as well!
I do agree that this is not the site to reccomend ways to commit suicide for god sakes!!! some of these posts are really off the friggin wall! I just wanted to share my Ambien experience and now wondering if half the people that have posted are still alive!!
I took Ambien for a year or so “kinda” as directed as I kept waking up from a normal dose around 3am. I then started taking more and yes also for the euforia. I quit for about 3 years and my sleep issues returned when I lost my job. That is when it go out of control. I was doctor shopping for multiple scripts and would take up to 10 a night. Finally one night I consumed almost a full script of 30 and thought I could just run to the store and back before it kicked in. I was pulled over approximatley 35 miles east of my house on the interstate. I did get charged with D.U.I! I had no alcohol in my system but a very high level of Zolpidem Tartrate. The D.U.I was reduced to reckless driving however I am thankfull that I was pulled over and did not kill anyone! Needless to say all I remember was waking up in jail!
Well, my family discovered that I had a problem and I tried to go cold turkey. That was a mistake as SEVERE panic attacks and shakes started almost 24hrs later. I went to the hospital were I was given 2mg of Ativan. I was then transfered to a detox facility.
There have been other instances not as severe while on Ambien but noteworthy like backing over my mailbox, thinking their were “squatters” in my house, Arrested for public intoxication because I was running down the road at 1am in my underwear with a remote control in my hand telling the officer I was going to the store to get some batteries (Again, I did not remember this until I was told but did get my remote back).
Ambien is a horrible, evil, drug! even at the hospital the doctors told me that they did not believe in Ambien. Also, Everyone by now has noticed that there no longer are Ambien commercials. Oprah even did a segment on the bone chilling effects of Ambien.
DONT TAKE AMBIEN!
I love my ambien. I can go a night without it or take my daily 15 mg dosage. What is evil is pain killers …. those fuckers…. ahh they got me.
I see another Greg so changing my screen name
Is this a Dr. Phill Site? I cant believe all of the wussies on here regarding Ambien! Hey, it is a sleep aid that will give you euphoria, gets you arrested (maybe laid) and other pleasant side effects until your tolerance goes out the roof and you end up taking 15-20 pills a day and have to go to the cleaners to keep from going crazy when you run out even for those that doctor shop the stuff! I think my fines and hospital bills are around $6,000.00 due to Ambien. It cost me to much so I had to find a safer alternative (Sobriety).
You are completely contradicting yourself when you call everyone a wussie, yet you comment on the site saying sobriety is the way to go. What’s with that Mr. Marty?
WOW …. I never realized how many people would consider suicide I’ve sufferd severe depression throught my life but not to this extreme …. But please consider other options there is hope for all of us even when it seems all is hopeless …. To thoe’s talking negative to these suffers shame on you ….
I took 18 ambien. I wanted to die. I wish it were as simple as taking enough of them and never waking up. If you find something that can do that, hallelujah. My mom is dead. I’m alone in this world and i’m only 17. I wish i could just FUCKING KILL MYSELF with these stupid inadequate pills.
i just took 300 mg of ambien…what will happen??
Wow! How did you get that much!!! Are you still around? Please e-mail me!
The way you get that much is when the doctor prescribes 10 mg ambiens for 1 month. That comes out to 300 mg . Duh! Did you take math in school?
I am 60 years old & am separated from my wife(not legally).For the better part of a year,I have been taking Citaloprom60mg.,Klonopin 1mg.,Ambiem 10mg. & Trazadone 50mg. I have moved out of my home, to give my wife a chance to miss me & hopefully reconsile.I am still working hard to support her & maintain our health covereage.It is not working & I have lost all hope of being together again. I have come to terms with life on my own without her, but still love her & always will.My family doesn’t support my decision to care for her & see to her needs, until she can make a life for herself without me.They have made it clear, that she is not welcome in their lives & I am in a tenuous position, because,right now,they have extended their hospitality & support by giving me a place to live,while I play out this hopeless senario, that I feel compelled to see through to the end. Without their support & willingness to allow me to seek closure on my own terms,I feel completey alone. I strongly believe, that soon,I will have no choice,but to take my life. Right now, I feel that ultimately the world & those around me,would be able to move on with their own lives, were I not in it.It would give closure to alot of unresolved emotions, & I would finally achieve the endless rest that I so desperately need.I now that no one,except some one who has suffered as I have will answer me honestly.But I need to know.Will a mega dose of Ambien put me to sleep for all eternity? I come to this decision in sound mind & body,fully aware that I will cause grieve to many. But when you feel that others are trumping your plans for your future & possible happiness, because you can’t bring youslf to be unkind to the women that you love,even though you know she will never love you again,and put great pressure on you to act as they would have you act,you are left no choice but to end what is no longer a life, but merely an existence.I have gone the Psychiatrist & Therapist route, & all have advised me to take care of & worry only about myself.But,that is not me & never,ever will be. I am not looking to be counseled or preached to.I just want honest instructions on how to leave this world & it’s heartache behind. Is their anyone out their with the courage & understanding to help me achieve my goal & find the ultimate peace I so desparately need?
Please, please, don’t take your life. If the circumstance does arrise that your wife won’t take you back, then you can move forward and onward. I’m on many more medications than you are. I have a beautiful daughter I raise alone. But I still think about suicide every day. I know that all it would bring is heartache to those that love me!!!! And there are those that love you!!! It’s the selfish way to go … let God decide when you’re time is.
I took 30 10mg ambien two weeks ago and woke up the next day in icu. I’ve done two weeks of inpatient psych. I feel no better. I’ve lost my job, I’ve put my family through hell. I am a burden to everyone I know and they would be better off without me. I am so tired of hurting and struggling everyday just to get through. And all the time there’s this never ending pain and sadness. I just can’t do it anymore. I want to go home to my Father, heaven is suppose to be a place with no sorrow or pain. I want to be there.
Dear Steph, I’ve been in and out of psych hospitals for several years now. I have bipolar disorder, so I understand how you feel. But, sweetheart, Our Father put us on this earth for a purpose. Don’t leave too soon. You’ll find another job (or get disability), maybe even start your own business, in time. Our families will love us no matter how hard things get – they just want us here to love and be loved by. Eventually, your doctors will find the right mix of meds that help you to be happier. Bad times will still come and go, but God is Love and he gave us Life – we can only be happy if we’re alive. You’re the only one that I replied to – because I can relate. Please choose life – it is a choice.
took about 30 10mg amb and about 20 klons. had to shock my heart. ended up in rehab for two weeks.
haha i’m just another who’s gonna kill themseves.
Hi, there. I’m a iraq war veteran suffering from depression after the losses close to me, and just utter hell, in a part of the world that sucks. When something fucked up is actually happening, your asking yourself, is this really going on. Yea, it is. So… been contemplating ambien overdose. Now im thinking 200x 10mg ambien should be enough to kill me?
I’ve been getting ‘therapy’, so talking doesn’t help as much as everyone thinks.
Also had a good friends mom commit suicide july 2008, everyone was distraught for quite awhile. Two years later, everyone has moved on and continued living. So yes, killing myself will cause extreme sadness for 3-4 months and after about 2 years they have continued living.
So, If someone could reference the lethal dosage for 180lbs, I’d appreciate it, and I’ll make sure its a remote area, not easily accessible by paramedics.
Have a great Christmas~
when I learned that lesson i tattoed it on my back. Life goes on your loveones move on without you cuz they have 2 and cant remember you without being sad so you ruin every memory. Dude it isnt worth it find your deathstar!
I tried killing myself with ambien and it gave me nothing but more problems. I took a whole script and ate a bunch of todem poles, I received in return cardiac arrest, charcoal, rehab, and a whole new world of hell. I woke up in peninsula, after a week of antipsychotics, not seeing any friends or family, and eating the worst food I ever had along with that small prison sentence, I quickly gained a new lease on life also. I got to see my son again, kiss the most beautiful woman in the world, and hug my mom. Nothing material but worth more than anything in the world. Also since this happened on the 10 of december I got out in just enough time to see my sons first christmas. Wow, I messed up bad and sounds like im not the only one. Look if you need someone to talk to call me eight six five five nine nine zero four four nine. Or email me ill get it instantly and will repond. Don’t do nothing you’ll regret if it doesn’t go to plan, it just makes it worse. Please this is my cry to you, I never want to read about another ambien overdose or anything else of this nature on here again. Thanks. Capt. Hover. I like alot of you also had it all at one time too, check me out on hovercraft.com that was my life and I messed it up. I built alot of those crafts and im in 90% of the photos. I live eat breath and poop hovercraft, and I alone caused me to loose one of my only loves. I was the guy on tv, in magazines, and livin large. Now im working my way back up. You can do the same.
well about a month ago i put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger to the gun that would forever change my perspective on life now i have a scar confined to a room sober w/ ambien when the gun went off and chunks of my head flew accross the room i hit the ground and realized i was still alive got up and ran outside ambulance show up why did i do it i dont know why do i feel trapped where is all this leading too were all lost i am stuck in another dimenion dieeeeeeeeeeeedidiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I have long list of perskriptions. Some girl caused a car accedent i was in and I broke my back. Her insurnace only covered 300k of my surgurys and I got sued for the other 200k in med bills. Im on 120 80ml oxycontons, 70 3ml zanys, and ambein. latly all i do is sit on my couch watch tv, and stay medicated all day. thinking about death, being depressed, paranoid, and never can sleep. going threw intense with drawls thinking im going to die when my oxys run out early every month.
BUT
PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF! EVEN if you do not have beleive in God to read the bible. It is a BOOK of (directions and examples) you will have answers to your problems. Read the bible and you will be at peace with your self and life. And you will have the ANSWERS! I GARENTEE IT AND SO DOES GOD. it helps me emesly
God gives you a life to live to the fullest, BUT manye people such as my self have soo many issues and many things go wrong even if you are a good person. When you have issues and your life isnt right and you think that God is not there he is but he does not controle what you do, he leaves that to you. . You just have to embrase the bible and uses all the experiances in the storys of the bible to your own life. I PROMISE THINGS WILL CHANGE every one needs help and even if you do not beleive in God the bible only gives you the right ways on how to handle life and embrases everything god has put on the earth and love everyone even your enemeys.
i used to take ambien all the time for the high. it was so bad, blacking out for hours at a time, hearing my sink talk to me, seeing double vision, driving on this stuff, drinking on this stuff and mixing other pills. I stopped and realized I had a problem when I took the two I got, and then upon being blacked out, I apparently ate the other six that I had hidden from myself, earlier that day. now its all about 420!
I have lived with depression, what they call MDD since 17. I have gone the whole route here, done it all. I managed in the last three years to lose my job as a teacher, received my Masters in 2003. I never thought it could get worse but in 2005 I lost my marriage, my job and am now in forclosure, my retirement is worth zilch with this economy. In 1998 I fell off the roof of my home fourteen feet complicating my medical issues with chronic back pain. This week I am going to take the plunge into ECT. Two weeks of what is going to be interesting to say the least as I am a master isolator, I push away anyone that gets close to me. I am considered all that one might hope for in a man, good looking, well educated and I too am going to have to start over.
as so much of this is inherited.
Some advise to you all is take 2000 IU of Vitamin D daily (or have your level checked by your practitioner, another seriously overlooked issue for those of us blessed with living in this hell, is pituitary and other hormonal issues, in my case a normal testosterone level in a man is 200-300 range, mine is 30. Vitamin D will help many without the need for much else, also look up the Gerson diet. I’ll post after my brain gets scrambled in two weeks as I looked this up on this to see if others have had this treatment.
God Bless and as bad as yo are feeling, know others are suffering and yes when it feels it can’t get any worse, it can. I am not going to allow my children to suffer like this, yes I feel gilty for having children
MY mother committed suicide when I was seventeen and it still affects me, my brother took his life twenty years ago. I miss them both. Don’t think you won’t be.
Hey… so I’m an 18 year-0ld college student now. I took ambien because I couldn’t deal with the guilt I’ve had for the past 5 years of my life. I’ve always been a romantic guy from the start. Always watched those TV shows, those chick flicks, those love stories- and believed they would happen in my life as well. Anyways, four years ago is when the girl I’ve loved for over 5 years (yes, I was a third grader when I met her) committed suicide. I couldn’t do anything to prevent it because she wouldn’t give even a single glance to my direction. I tried to do everything I could and I still live with that guilt. Last year, I lapsed into one of my user’s abuse withdrawals (After the suicide, I fell into hard drug use and self-rehabbed along with military school attendance) and I had dreams of helplessness where hundreds of millions of children would die in front of me. I couldn’t sleep… was too afraid to sleep. So I started to cut again and was only stopped by a girl who would later become my girlfriend. The doctor put me on ambien to try to and stop the episodic nightmares. They did stop, so in that sense ambien was great. However, my addictive personality and need for an outlet of all my emotions made me hide the ambien pills until I would muster enough to overdose. Blackouts and worry were all I caused for others, especially my future girlfriend.
I would only recommend this medication if you know yourself that you are not a drug abuser or have had a past of being one. It is dangerous, and I’m glad that I’m no longer using it. My girlfriend has helped me through the tough times and now I’ve been drug free for nearly a year.
I, like many others, came upon this site while seeking the amount of ambien it would take to kill me. It is depressing to read that even a huge amount most likely won’t kill me. I have had bipolar since my teens and tried several times to take my life. The last time was a few years ago when I took a combo of drugs followed by alcohol. All this resulted in was a trip to the hospital where I was given charcoal and put in the psych ward for a few days. My fiancee at the time dumped me b/c he couldn’t take it and my family and friends were fed up w/my attempts. I took a medical leave from my job and did intensive therapy. It helped for a while. Then I got a rare disease that caused crippling pain and various physical damage. It took them two years to figure out what it was. Countless doctor visits, tests and a ton of medication threw me right back into a depression. Oh yeah, I was on prednisone for three years and if you don’t know what that does look it up. It is a nasty drug. It may have saved my life, but it ruined it in the process. I was fit, skinny and active. It caused me to gain seventy pounds, have a swollen face, not sleep and break several bones. I still have not lost all the weight. I had to give away all the clothes I loved. Doesn’t sound like much, but it was very emotional. I’ve lost some of the weight, but will never be skinny again no matter how much I diet or exercise. My body is ugly, full of stretch marks and I’ve never had kids. My legs are numb and tingly due to nerve damage so I have trouble walking. I lost my job and have been unemployed for two years. I am w/o health insurance and got denied medicaid. So I’m off most of my meds, no therapist and other doctors want hundreds of dollars for a fifteen min visit. Healthcare in this country is a nightmare!!! I have a wonderful fiancee now, but he got a job very far from my hometown so we moved. He lost the job before 90 days so no unemployment. I can’t go back to work b/c it is mental torture for me. He doesn’t understand and thinks I’m being a prima donna. The thought of working at a menial job that doesn’t use my degree is beyond depressing. I’m tired of working for assholes. I’m tired of all the women I know living in big houses, having wonderful husbands, beautiful children and not having to work. Why can’t I have that? I am a good person. The disease had me in the icu and caused my body to shut down and I almost died. I curse the doctors that kept me alive. Instead of thinking everyday is a gift I wish I would have died b/c I am in so much emotional pain. No one understands, they keep saying to stay positive, exercise, find a hobby, go to church. I don’t believe in god anymore. If there was one why he let us all torture ourselves like this? I just want to go to sleep and never, ever wake up. Yes, people would be sad, but I think it is selfish of them to want me to stay here in so much anguish just so they don’t have to feel guilt. They don’t have to live my life of agonizing racing thoughts and hopelessness. They go for massages, shop and live in gorgeous homes. My fiancee and I live in a shit hole. He promised to take care of me. Now he wants me to work and be happy making nothing. Love does not conquer all. No matter what anyone says, money does buy happiness, or at least comfort. It certainly would for me. So what if I am materialistic. Look at our country, how can I not be? Maybe if everyone I knew lived like me on an even playing field at every aspect I would have hope, but they don’t. It is all so exhausting and I’m fed up w/hoping things will change for the good. All I get is knocked down over and over again. Please, please, please someone tell me a way to ensure I can get the suicide right this time. I can’t bear (or afford) another bout of failing at it. There should be doctors like Dr. Kovorkian for people like us. Just let us end it if we want to. My only hope right now is not taking my medication. I just want out of life as I know it.
Julie
j1900@gmail.com
Julie, I cried when I read your post. It is so like me, I hate being alive. I am constantly in pain, no matter what I do. Pain meds just don’t help. Sitting is the worst, trying to sleep without a sleep aid is impossible. I have to keep busy, so I usually wind up cleaning or cooking – in pain. Personally I don’t want to leave my husband and son feeling bad. It’s happened to people I know and the pain and sadness are unreal, just never goes away.
You talk about money…….. I could go for a massage if I wanted to, I don’t have to work, am retired. It doesn’t matter. Depression is not respective of status, I’ve had it since I was a kid and I am over 50. I know I should be exercising, according to what drs tell me. It hurts. I came to this site to search for how much ambien I would have to take to ‘do it’, but really am scared. Talk to me girl.
‘He doesn’t understand and thinks I’m being a prima donna”.. U want things but you dont want 2 work for them right. Cuz its mentle torture! It like that for 90 precent of us but if you want somthing you have 2 earn it sounds like you were doing good B4 the first sucide attempt but u still tried and then started losing pieces of the life that wasnt good enough and now you see how good you had it back then. imagine what you could lose tomoorow
To those seeking how much ambien to take for it to actually claim their life, i cannot help you there. I’ve done ambien twice in my life, the first time was during school at lunch and my friend asked if i wanted to take some. At the time i was heavily into drugs and was in the curious stage you could say, wanting to experiment and go on new “adventures”. I snorted one 5mg pill and headed back to school. It didn’t do too much to me considering the small dosage, my vision was slightly blurred and a bit off balance, but it left me thinking “what if i did more?”. So a few weeks later i was at my friends house, bored with nothing to do, no drugs, no alcohol, so we started looking through the cupboards in the bathroom and all that just looking to get some sort of high. Sure enough we found a full bottle of 10mg and half a bottle of 5mg ambien. We started off with about 60mg each,(there was 3 of us)crushing them up and snorting them. By the time we were finished both bottles had maybe 5-10 pills left and we were feeling great. At that moment in time i didnt realize how high i was. We must’ve taken at least 200mg each. I was seeing 6x of everything, stumbling around like a drunken idiot, yet i thought in my head this was normal. My friends mom got off work and came home to find us how we were. As i was headed to go upstairs to get away from his mom i blacked out and fell head first into the pantry door, damaging it severely, right in front of her. I quickly scurried upstairs and shortly after she came up telling my friend that he was to take a UA, and for some reason, she let him drive to the drug&alcohol place. Thats where it got really bad really fast. As we were heading there i remember looking out the window of the car and seeing 12 odd lanes and god knows how many cars. His mom was screaming out non stop until we got there, he had almost hit many cars on the way and when we arrived, parked halfway on the sidewalk. All this time i was sitting in the backseat calm as could be, thinking this was a natural everyday event. Somehow my friend managed to talk his mom into letting him drive back, which is ridiculous. Needless to say the ride back was just as hectic. Once we arrived back at his house the effects started to wear off, although i was extremely drowsy. Not too long after i went to my house and fell asleep not even 5 mins after laying down, going into a deep coma-like sleep for about 32 hours. I have not done ambien since and i dont plan to or recommend it to anyone. It is by far the scariest drug i’ve done in the sense that it makes you rationalize everything you do into being ordinary, while realistically you might be 2 seconds from death. Those looking to use this as an exit out of this world i really suggest not to, if you feel that there is simply no other solution then please at least use some other method. All that you will get out of it is a disturbing high and a gooood nights/days sleep. Only use it if you are prescribed it and can use it safely in moderation.
Okay, I have saved 136 10mg tablets of Ambien and I have about 70 2 mg of Klonapin, 8 25mg of Amytriptyline, and 8 25 mg of Chlomiprmine. If I wait 10 more days, I increase the Ambien to 166 10 mg tablets and the Klonopin to 150 2 mg tablets. Have I finally save enough to do the job? I reach the point where I am ready. And, please no I am sorry for you and please don’t do it. Just give it to me straight!
rxin2008@gmail.com
Eric
I came on here to read about how many ambien could kill me. I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, and ill be 21 Feb. 10th and I still feel this way. I just recently lost my job, my apartment, and it feels like I’m losing my grip, again.. People tell me shit will get better but I beg to differ. Every person I love leaves or dies, so what the hell is the point of living this miserable life anymore. I don’t want to take these pills and wake up tomorrow…super bowl sunday, that I should be spending with my fiance’ but hes too wrapped up in his drinking to understand how I feel. People say life is a gift…well some one really screwed up on mine, and I’de like an exchange…this shit is just too much.
Alicia:
I am sorry that you feel this way at such a young age. You were the last email I read on this site. I have been thinking about ending my life for several years now. I just turned 57 on Feb. 20, 2011. I have been so depressed for the past 10 yrs. Especially since my Mom passed away in August of 2007. I miss her so much and my life is empty without her. I even have two kids. One 30-yr old and one 26-yr old. I have been married for 34-yrs but my life is so empty. Everyone has their own thing now. My husband controls all the decisions in our house. I mean as far as bills and ect. I work and pay my own way, but if I want extra that is not necessaraly he decides. I hate my life now and I do think all the time about ending it with ambien. I am afraid of not seeing my Mom wherever I end up if I decide to do this. I do need help just thinking about this but I sometimes I want to end it so bad. I am tired and I just want to sleep forever now.
l came across this website when looking to see if a combination of Ambien and Ativan would kill you if taken together.
After reading alot of everyones post I really don’t think that it will kill me.
However, I was always told that a person who really is gonna try to kill themselves will not tell anyone else they will just do it one day when no one is around to save them.
I however have come to realize that after reading alot on this site, that there are alot of people thinking the same thoughts as me. I really think that alot of people like me have just totally given up on life because nothing ever seems to change or get better.
I have been married of 27 years to a man who would rather be with a gang of friends than with me and our 4 chilren. I have really tried throughout the years to do all I could to get him to stop drinking and spend time with us. It has become worse of course it went from drinking til the a.m. to staying out all nite. Since my kids are pretty much grown now I have no reason to stay around I figure that I have done my job on this earth and after 27 years if he still don’t come home then the problem must be me. So I sympathize with each and everyone of you. All I can say is that I truly do hope that all of you find something in your life that is good and that will make you want to go on living.
I wish you all the best.
bc7666@yahoo.com
Moderator:
I posted some sort of incoherent comment here last night when I was on — what else? — ambien. I must have been sleep walking, apparently a common side effect. I did not recall writing the comment until I saw it this morning, still on my screen. At any rate, the comment in its particular context would probably be misconstrued, so would you please not post it (or this one either)?
Thanks
The thought of suicide has been in the back of my mind for as far back as I can remember. When I was 12 i tried to hang myself but my brother stopped me, he never spoke a word of it to anyone as far as i know. My family knows that im not right in the head but doesnt seem too worried about whats going on. Ive never been on meds for my problems because admitting that its a problem is not what i want to do.
I recently lost my job and am currently living with my aunt. She worked at a pysch house for children with problems and knows much more about depression and etc than i do. Ive been living with her for about 2 months now and last week she sat me down to talk about my problems. This made my world turn upside down, i do not like talking about what goes on in my head. Ive lost many friends and watched families go through the ordeal of suicides. Its true that it causes extreme heart ache but after a couple of months everything goes back to normal. Seeing this happen over and over again has made me realize that suicide is not selfish. Wanting someone to live so that the people around them feel better is just wrong.
I know im jumping back and forth with my thoughts but this is the way my brain works sadly. Im only 19, and ive have tried numerous drugs to see if happiness can be found in pill form. Through high school i was a raging alcoholic, in 1 night i consumed 3/4 of a bottle of everclear. That should have been enough to kill a grown man, considering im 110 pounds, i shouldnt be alive. My body built up a tolerance to alcohol to the point where i could drink a 30 case and be aware enough to drive home.
I just want it all to be over, im tired of waking up the next morning after attempting and feeling ten times worse off than before. Is there any concoction that will do the job without pain or vomiting?
And no, God doesnt exist.
givingup2day@yahoo.com
I’m thinking of doing the deed with ambien myself.I’m 60 ,ill at the time, estranged from all my kids but one ,forbidden to see my grand kids by my nutty daughters and I bore the hell out of my wife and she deserves better.I am tired, really tired.Sick of being broke and ill and ready for a change.I don’t believe in God or anything else so I pretty much don’t much have any hope. But to me THAT looks good. If my VA claims gets turned down again I will be dead that day I read their letter. That’s all folks
I tried to OD four years ago with 50 klonopin. I was taken to the hospital and revived via charcoal. My life has never been the same since. My friends and family are ashamed of me and view me as a nutjob. I’ve been unemployed for three years, just trying to handle my chronic depression. I seem to make little or no headway and my husband treats me like shit. But I had a dream when I was in the hospital, that my 10 year old daughter was crying herself to sleep every night, but I was a ghost and as much as I tried to comfort her, I couldn’t. It was one of the most horrible nightmares I’ve ever had to life through, more painful than my depression at its worst. That memory has kept me alive. To see her in such agony was torture beyond belief. And when I start feeling suicidal again, I remember that dream. My child’s agony and my mother’s agony at being left totally alone at 85. I know that the pain of that dream would become real should I take my life. I love those people so much more than I love myself. To actually do that to them would put me in eternal hell and I would roam this earth having to watch them suffer without being able to do anything. My grandfather shot himself to death, and a psychic told my grandmother that he would be earthbound for seven years. We dealt with all kinds of weird crap going on, like doors slamming and lights flashing and finding stuff in odd places. I have no doubt he was with us, stuck as a ghost, full of remorse and unable to move on. Ambien WILL NOT KILL YOU. I’ve talked to a lot of people who tried it and failed. But if you kill yourself, you’re going to be living with the consequences regardless. You can fantasize, you can thrill yourself on how others will have paid their price for their insensitivity toward you, but the shitstorm beyond the black door is so much worse than what you’re dealing with now, you’d pee your pants. Choose your weapon of self destruction carefully.
IN This life where man is forced 2 earn his daily breed
How many ambien do I need to take to die?
I’ve tried to kill myself 6 times however I know the diffetence between two, to and too come on most other americans shame me. Goodbye!
I’ve been an alcoholic since In was 15yrs.old., will take pills when available. I’ve had anxiety and depression forever. I’ve been in treatment for both alcoholism and depression. About 6 weeks ago, I called an ambulance and told them that I was suicidal…I didn’twant to hurt my husband and family by killing myself. I ended up at a facility that takes care of people with drug problems, depression, suicidal and other problems. I had a procdure called ECT…they put you under and shock your brain with some kind of electrodes. I hd 5 procedures, and they cause severe amnesia…you can’t even remember your address. My doctor sent me home with Ambien, Valium, Soma,Amphetamine-dextroamphetamine (adderall), Campral, Lexapro,and Wellbutrin. I thought that that I was in the hospital for a week…I was there for a month. The week that I got home, I went crazy with the pills…I took so many that I couldn’t talk, walk and had body spasms. My husband carried me to the truck and took me to the hospital. My blood pressure was some where around 79/40…I don’t remember exactly. they say that the amnesia is suppose to go away, but I still can’t remember shit…my husband has to tell me things like what day or month it is. The doctor sent me home with all of the same pills except he changed the valium (because I took 90 Valium in 7 days) along with Soma,Ambien and ampetamine) to Klonopin. My husband now has my meds in a lock box nd gives me my alottment 3 times a day. I called the hospital today to find out how much the bill was and they told me a shocking $49,000,and that was only 1 hospital…there are 2 more. I have health insurance, but I don’t know what the deductable or co-pay is going to be.
sorry for those who want that medicine so bad i been in all kind of medicine you name it ambien to ,sorry friend they only make you feel better at the biginin then we go back to our misery i dont know the answer but if you want to kill yoursel first check may 21 2011.com
Please stop and think of 1 person you can talk to. If you can’t think of one person or don’t want to talk with anyone you know, call the National Suicide Hotline 800-784-2433. It’s anonymous and that one call can help you it through this night. Then you have another day to get help to try to fight your way out of your hopelessness. I’m a school social worker and I’ve taken several suicide prevention trainings, so I know that talking with someone can be enough to get you through this moment in time. Talking with someone trained in suicide prevention can get you on a track toward healing. I also know that we can’t prevent all suicides. My daughter was depressed for years and took a bottle of Lexapro which could have killed her if she hadn’t shown us the empty bottle through sobbing tears. She could have gone into seizures and had brain damage. 6 months later she hanged herself (22 yrs young) in our backyard in the middle of the night and that was a year and a half ago. I was right behind her, cut her down, and resuscitated her, but just a few minutes too long and there is no saving someone. Another daughter and I are now forever traumatized. Now I who have always been a happy person is looking up how much Xanax and/or Ambien it would take to overdose, but I really don’t want to. I just want my daughter back. The days are okay because my work teen students at school distracts me, but when I go home I cry and cry. I keep telling myself I have 3 other daughters, but it’s feels more and more like that’s not enough to keep me going. I’m in therapy, taking meds, and going to The Compassionate Friends parent (of children who have died) support group. To Write Love on Her Arms on FB has been helpful. There are many people who offer each other support, so you all might find some connections there. I have connected with some people who we provide each other support. I know that Ambien is not a sleeping pill per se. It’s a hypnotic. That’s why you can walk and talk and drive your car and people don’t know that your brain is not conscious. I think it would be more difficult to OD on it because it’s not a true sleeping pill, but too much of anything can cause organ failure and/or brain damage. If you think people won’t miss you or suffer from your death, you’re wrong, and life for them will never be the same. And doing it for revenge won’t affect the person you most want to hurt. So please talk with someone when you feel that desire to end it coming on and let them help you. Your family/friends may not know what to say or do, so talking with someone trained is better. If you can’t force yourself to call your local suicide prevention hotline or the national number, email me. We can talk by email, FB, or phone and I’ll try to help you make it through that darkest time. mama0sita@yahoo.com
im very saddened to hear all theses stories of attempts to kill yourself. and all i can say is you are going to live forever in one place or another heaven or hell. Jesus paid for your sins and by his stripes we are healed . He will heal you in your pain and addiction just like he healed me. The enemy comes to KILL STEAL AND DESTROY . God comes to give life and life more abundantly so you tell me if your life is not worth living who is your God. Jesus stands at the door and waits will you hear his voice and let him in… I love you all here and pray that you will turn from your ways and turn your eyes upon christ
Is it really possible that I could be addicted to some thing that my doctor gave me to help me sleep? I feel like my emotions are out of controle. I have no family. I have no friends beyond work. I. Am so over my lack of life. Starting to feel by what I am reeding that I might need to check myself in somewhere. I am scared and alone.
god gave me life in my 12 yr old child. i now feel like i have no life to live. ive always believed god carrys me, but right now i feel abandoned by everyone..im alone and i feel hopeless.
I thought ambien can kill not saying I’m trying but I thought taken to many can kill you cause an ex friend of mine had to get his stomach pumped or whatever they do but yeah he over dosed so I don’t understand why people on here are saying it can’t when I’m pretty sure it can
i have never taken ambein before my doctor gave them to me i have 30 ambein cr 12.5 mg if i take all 30 at once will i die???
My dr gave me ambien when I was pregnant and I became addicted to it shortly after I had my son. I loved the high it gave me and the out of body experience and I was almost like hallucinating while on it. I was only taking 1 10mg pill every once in awhile and then began taking 2 every night. I got really upset and because I couldn’t control my actions under the influence I ended up taking 10 pills one night. I don’t remember the ambulance ride or the ICU. When I woke up I was in a special hospital for suicide people. The dr’s tell me I am lucky to be alive. I am no longer allowed to take ambien or any sleeping aid that is proscribed. I still feel the addiction at times, and I now have long term side affects and withdrawals.
You have a child now, it’s time forget about any urge you have to take a dumb sleeping pill. Your child relies on you more than anyone else in the world, make sure you’re always going to be there for him/her.
I REALLY JUST WANT TO DIE FOR GOOD THIS TIME, I AM ON 2 AMBIEN RIGHT NOW AND I AM LOOKING AT THE BOTTLE WANTING TO TAKE THE REST, I DONT WANT TO JUST TAKE THEM AND NOT DIE, I WANT TOTAKE THEM AND JUST DIE, WILL GOD REALLY LET ME DIE THIS TIME, I SURE WILL MISS MY HUSBAND SEAN ROBBINS. MY FAMILY WONT MISS ME AT ALL. SO MANY PEOPLE WHO USE AND ABUSE ME..
WELL LETS FIND THE END……………..
How many pills/mg of Ambien should one looking to kill themselves ingest? I’ve looked around and found wildly differing figures for a lethal dose. I know in part this is going to depend on the individual, plus things like tolerance, whether they are currently using any other drugs etc, but as a rough guideline how much is enough for the average person? 100mg+? 200mg+? Trying to avoid simply having a psychotic episode instead of killing myself.
This place is good but it needs a forum or something where people can discuss this stuff in an organised way, otherwise, good job.
Ok… I am outta here tonight. I have 25 10mg ambien IR’s, 7 30mg Oxycodone IR’s, 34 0.5mg xanax, and 5 15mg Remeron’s. I’m pretty sure that’ll do the trick.
This may not be for everyone, but it is my wish to go before my esopageal cancer kills me. Anyone looking to take their life with dignity should read the book “Final Exit”. Their sure fire way with meds is 60 Norflex pills but I couldn’t get those in time.
why the fuck do you guys wanna kill yourselves? just take the pill and let it go. suicide dis, suicide dat, imma suicide yo ass i just took 70mg of ambien (zolpigen) and i dont feel shit i wanna see some shit like hallucinate and stuff. any help?
I feel u dude
If you going to kill yourself, do it right, with a noose, or even a knife to a major vein or artery. If you cannot bring yourself to actually kill yourself (this way) then you seriously don’t want to die. If you quit at the last moment, you should take a deep breath, and continue life. Maybe youll get lucky and get hit by a bus/car, or maybe even some murderer will just happen to pick you next. You can only hope.
um I’m prescribed 10mg and so is my mom so like occasionally I’ll take 4 or 5 to try and get high but like tht doesn’t even knock me out. I took 3 tonight and literally felt nothing. either this drug is weak or my tolerance is absurd but how many could I take to get rly rly high but not kill myself.
This is why I hate shrinks…”ohhh you feel sad? Heres some paxil. Anxiety? Heres Xanax. You can’t sleep? Ambian ” hmmmm tard only care bout money. I myself am prescribed adderall, xanax, paxil, amd ambien. Amd I’m just more messed up then I was. Now I can’t even sleep u less I take like 30-40 mg of ambien and like a Xanax bar or 2. That’s normal…ha not. And then I do t even sleep I just walk around my house all night tripping out and smoking cigs and yeaaaa. J want so bad to just be off all this horrible life destroying meds…but I’m like addicted. If I dont have the meds I go crazy wothdrawling and just lay around the house bitching at everybody. I HATE psychiatry!!!!! However, I love psycholgy. My future goal is to help people bg talking to them and finding healthy ways to fix their probs without drugs
so I’m not sure who or what I have become… where to start.. I lie I steal I manipulate others… but I would do anything for anyone.
I’m so depressed I don’t know what’s wrong with me… doctor put me on cymbalta and ambien. sometimes I just wish I would never ever wake up. but that’s not an option I have two kids I can’t do that to. so I am just quietly suffering inside but I hate who I am I have crazy thoughts and I need help but don’t know how to get it.
Ok, so I admit, I only read random postings, not the entire thread, but going to offer my two cents whether you want it or don’t… suicide is a weird thing in it’s own right, people claim it’s either selfish or the most giving act on the planet, depending on circumstance. Very easy for people to judge and say “they took the easy way out” or the inverse “that was so f’in selfish, don’t they know what they left behind?”…. regardless of how you get to a point that suicide is an option for you, let me share a few things with you but know up front, i’m completely agnostic on the subject, if you want to commit suicide, cool, if you don’t cool, zippy on the judgement factor. We all got to this post somehow or another…
So, I tried wrist slitting, boric acid, achilles heel tendon slashing, etc,. during my early years and then later in life (17 and beyond) I found the miracle of prescription drugs, Valium, Xanax, Ambien, Oxycodon, Aspirin, etc,. of which, I’ve taken so many doses and combinations that I can’t actually recount… This is not a story of what works (again obviously) or what doesn’t, and I have no weird creepy religious or “now I’m paralyzed story” and mean zero disrespect if that is the case or result of what we’re talking about here, it’s just that Ambien alone, no matter how much you take (only based on personal experience – excess of 70 12.5 mg xtended release pills), you will defintely be tripping/gone for at least three (3) days, especially if you drink a lot leading up to it, but no, it won’t kill you, but you will most definitely will fell like shit and wished you’d died for at least two days after. Now if you’re really adventurous, you can drop the Ambien and Xanax as mentioned earlier, and by far stand a much better chance depending on the dose… the key here is if you have Xanax “ER”
continued…. or any drug that is “EX” or “ER” simply means it has a coating for extended release so it doesn’t dump into your system all at once. And if we’re talking about “results” here, any drug you’re thinking of taking simply need to be crushed or broken in some format to allow maximun absorbtion. Anyway, back to the point, Ambiem alone won’t do it, Ambien and Xanax won’t do it, hardcore OD with heroin will (Amy Winehouse ring a bell?). but what I’m heating here is none of you are H addicts, so, coming full circle on the Ambien/Xanax combo, never really gonna be enough on their own or combined. If you have both as an option, you probably want to add Valium and/or Percoset (codiene based pain killer) to the mix, that with alcohol, again, depending on doseage can get the job done as it were. So, digressing for a minute here, yes, a noose or jumpimg off a bridge/building has certain guaranteed results, but my guess is anyone reading this is “fringe” due to stress/guilt, over leaving loved ones behind, perception of being viewed as weak after the fact “which in truth is very brave and cowardice at the same time”, and so wants a nice “exit” if it were…. so, more to follow… maybe
Ok, so following on, (two bottles of wine and two Xanax bars) to keep the mood flowing, – please excuse the typo’s, as they’ll probably get worse along the way
Here’s the deal, if you want “out” you can obviously find one fairly simply, but I think I know hat you like, nothing violent/traumatic/too hardcore, just a simple, beautiful sleep of dreams that goes on for you and for others, percieve the same way… really, not that hard – no pun intended 
So, then there is a religious aspect for some of you I suppose…. And again, apologies, just my two cents here. There is no heaven or hell, there is however a “collective” of the spirit that resides within you that wants and means well for the the ones you love, know and the rest of the planet in general. The idea of a “violent” death goes against what is comfortable for you (side track, btw, all religions have the same basic tennantas, love. don’t lie. dont’t cheat or steal. Whether it’s Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, etc.) and basically, don’t be a dick. Ok, back to the subject, so we all have struggles, they definitely can be overwhelming (or feel that way), I’m guessing if you “opt” out, you miss nothing but facetime with family and friends, we all end up in some weird cosmic collective, so what the hell 
But hear me, Ambien, Xanax, Valium, whatever… will definitely get you there but we’re ending up in the same palce anyway so gauge your rush to get there xooxox 
I really liked this! Thanks! Don’t know how much good it will do…
I just came on to see if I could take a second ambien (10mg) if the first of the same did not work after a few hours?
I feel worthless, stupid. Taken only 20mg of ambien. Don’t want to live or die.
I have 60 ambien and 120 valiums and 60 trazodones. will that do the job? I am done with life. I have 2 kids but I am embarassingly unemployed for years and may lose a place to live. My parents can help with the kids but who can carry my weight? I am thinking of taking the pills AND jumping off a bridge
hey, are you still here?
First of all the 100 mg of kolonopin will kill ya ALONE! Never mind the buffet of other pills you have ready to cocktail down. Nobody should ever try this NEVER!! You will die and I’ve been there. And in the last glimpse you’ll see its too late you really didn’t want to die. Maybe you’ll make it maybe you won’t…I hope your still alive my friend..nothings worth incidental overdose. Take your meds accordingly to your Doctors opinion and your personal diet.
Hi. I came across this website by accident. However, after reading some of your postings, it sounds like some of you might be trying to reach out for some help. I’d be happy to provide counseling services free of charge online or over the phone. Just respond to my post if you would like to talk. And please, if you really feel as though you are about to harm yourself, go to a hospital if you are alone, or find a friend or family member and tell them you need them to watch you until you can get help from a professional. If you don’t want face to face contact just call your local suicide hotline. You can find it on google. People do care and want to help, and things can get better.
I’m a mother of 2 boys and am bi polar. I started going to the doc when I got health insurance a lil over a year ago. In that small spand of time I have been diagnosed with bi polar, diabetes, fibromyalgia, and degenerative spine disease. I take anywhere from 10 -15 pills a day. I was getting state assistance because my docs said I couldnt work and then the state screwed me over and cut me off over a mistake they made. I’ve lost my kids to my ex husband, and became homeless. The only people that would take me in were over a thousand miles away. I recently moved there and am so severely depressed that I want to end my life. I cry constantly, my kids miss me so much that they cry nonstop when I call them. I just dont know if I can live with out them. I’m trying but I keep wanting to grab all of my pills and end this pain. The idea of them never seeing me again is whats stopping me right now. I just dont know how much longer I can hold off.
I have battled bipolar siince ii was 12. Tried an overdose a few months ago. Can’t work can’t stop crying. I am a self mutilator. I cut when it hurts. I want to take my life. I am 32a now. My only baby is dead for 11 years now of a brain tumor. I don’t want to do this anymore. And I am on meds and seeing a psych. No rest for the wicked.
I’m considering pulling the plug on it all. I saw some bible thumpers comment that God loves us all, he has a purpose for us all, blah, blah, blah, really?????? God Loves me???? Took both of my parents away with within months of each other. Then my girlfriend the following year. My Career is almost literally destroyed thanks to the economic ruins that this country is in (by mainly the Religous Right Wingers). My Bank account is almost gone. Had a good high figure 5 numbers in it in 2005. I am on the verge of losing everything almost, no counting what has already been lost. What was that again??? God Loves me????? He has a purpose for me???? And what would that purpose be???? Just to see how much he can F with me before I lose it????? Life is only a gift if you are blessed, for if you are not blessed then it is a curse. So here is what I may do…………………. 12 percs @ 325 mg. each, need some strong sleeping pills also, have to research that, car exhaust with a closed garage door, and a bottle of Jack. I would bet that would work, talk to someone, Don’t have anyone left they are all gone. And no thank you to the lets make money off this guys suicide attempt Mental Health Industry. Thanks God.
I just feel this profound weight on my soul and mind. I can almost see it. It’s worthlessness. No kids, mom loves me but she has dementia, tons of siblings but we really don;t like each other and moved away and dont really talk. We’re strangers to each others.
I just don’t matter to anyone anymore, definitely kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
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okay instead of referring people to therapists, can you just tell me how much to take so i can end this shit already? even 100 mg doesn’t work.. what the fuck.
This is supposed to be about ambien not over dosing to kill yourself. Please get help for those of u who think of dieing. I am sorry for those, but for us who do not an overdose on purpose it is scary and i thought embarresing. This horrid drug needs to be off the market. The hallucinations it causes has a name!!! Ambien sicosis. My dr. Says as long as I never take it again it will not happen again. I jumped out a window and the window dropped and saved me. Thank god. But I have no memory of it but I did go to the ER and am really brused and will have scars to remind me forever.
I had a nephew who did jump off the golden state bridge and experienced that pain. I often wonder why he would hurt his family and friends. But I love my life. I am sorry for u who do mot
I read all replies, some good with advise some bad. I’m not a person to preach religion…..thats something you find with in your heart. Myself, I lost my spouse (the love of my life), also suffered three heart attacks & two strokes and now dealing with nueropathy………which is very painful, but still wake up each and every day all alone but glad to be alive even with pain. So please think twice before doing something foolish……life is precious, you only live once…..but your “forever” dead!!!!
This is a joke. Nowhere here does it say how much you need to take to die which I though was the point. I do not need help, encouragement etc. Just the answer.
40 10mg zolpidem and 60 10mg temazpan and bottle whisky and just fell asleep then woke up 3 hours later very pissed off that i woke up, anyone got any better ideas so i can do the job properly???
wow – i found this site when i did a search to find out what a lethal dose of ambien would be. now i feel more sad because of what others are going thru. funny, i feel compassion for other people but not for myself. but i also am wow’d by the fact that a ton of other people are feeling exactly what i am feeling tonight. i just mailed my daughter a goodbye letter today. my mind feels such a haze over it right now. a job would probably help a ton for me mentally, i have applied everywhere, and nothing. i will be losing my car any day now, and i keep thinking more and more about just closing my eyes and disappearing.
i just thought i would throw this idea out there – i am only one simple person, my college ed. has nothing to do with counseling or therapy like but!! i was wondering if any of you people who have posted on here would like to meet sometime, like yea maybe twice a month at a special location, group circle like, and just talk. it would be good to see the faces of the people going thru what i am going thru. no worries of being reported for our thoughts and intentions, because nobody in this group is obligated to or even wants to report anything. what i want to do is talk and listen to some of you, maybe develop some friendships, the kind that help each other survive. if you are interested you can email me so: carolk888@hotmail.com
Yeah Dwnmack, I ‘m with ya. Not ready to die yet but can’t deal with this shit. Took 30mg ambien, a xanax, a norco, whatever shit i could find and started drinking. I don’t have enough to die, but we’ll see how far this goes.
i have struggled with depression and insomnia my whole life. i take benadryl every night to sleep and have been for over 10 years. ive tried everything to try to sleep and nothing works. i ended up getting addicted to painkillers because that was the only way i could sleep but im over that now though. i have never been financially stable. my mom killed herself when i was 15 years old and she was the only parent ive ever known. now i feel almost completely alone. i inherited everything and blew it all on alcohol and stupid stuff like that. ive been single pretty much my whole life, except for some random one-night stands and stuff like that. nothing serious untill recently. a friend of mine for 10 years showed some interest in me, one thing led to another, and now we are head over heels in love. however, she wont date me because she just got out of a relationship and wants to be independent for a while. now im afraid that she is going to push me away because shes getting too attached and that isnt what she wants atm. this terrifies me beyond belief because she brings me happiness. i didnt think life got any better than opiates but she proved me wrong. ive never felt closer to anyone in my life. suicide has always been in my mind since i was like 7 or 8 years old and im 23 now. i feel completely hopeless and alone, as i always have. i found this site looking for the best way to od. i assumed painkillers would be the easiest but the good ones are expensive and im broke, as usual. all i have is like 10-15 ambien and i can get a few hundred benadryl. i am seeking therapy currently but im not sure if theyll accept me because i may be too sane. all i want is to lead a happy life and i dont know how. i wake up almost every morning wishing i hadnt. i consider myself of above average intelligence which probably doesnt help with anything im feeling or thinking because i understand whats happening in the world and to the people around me. ive always been selfless to those i love but i never take time to help myself and i dont know why. probably because i hate myself and my life. i wish i didnt and would do anything to feel better. i believe suicide is inevitable unless something (which im not sure what) drastic happens in my life, and soon. im trying of my own accord for the first time in my life to address these issues and get help. i was in tears when i first started writing this and snorted a xanax. i am about to snort another so maybe i can get some sleep. if anyone understands or has gone through what im going through it would be greatly appreciated if they could respond. i just dont want to deal with this anymore.
I havent read all the responses or comments but one thoroughly broke down what not to say to the suicidal person–dead on, really.
I do feel like CRAP. Even uncapping a water bottle takes mental strength enough to surpass my emotions on feeling worthy enough to even drink the damn thing….I have one person I THOUGHT I could count on–as my family is dead, except a sis, who although cares, doesnt have any time to care… This one I above aforementioned has basically hooked himself on perks and landed himself emotionless..unresponsive and cold…leaving me with not a one person to rely on. Granted, the thought of people that actually meant something to me–but have passed–has kept me going….but it seems all else in life seems to get in the way, and alls I keep thinking about is how much I want to join my past beloveds……Life is tough, I know..Been homeless, penniless–all whilst being young..not a touch of support accept from those that were dying in front of me, then later died..been so sick enough that hospitalization was the only thing keeping me alive..And I think, “it could be worse”..yeah I know… but in this state nothing feels worse then the particular sense of worthlessness and betrayal I feel presently….i dont even know if that all made sense, and although I care–I truely dont, I guess..
this is for Patrick: “Just try smiling more; meeting new people, seeing new places, change your job. Life has so much joy and love in store for everyone and its very easy to see if you just allow yourself to remain optimistic and view life in a positive way. Learn to not take things so seriously, join a church and meet some people there.” You are full of BS. You have absoulutely NO idea what you are talking about and it is people like you that make suicidal people feel wortheless. If we could smile more, meet new people, change our job, to be happy, we would not feel this way you idiot. I just hope that no one read your post and decided to go ahead and take the plunge. You are a moron.
I agree with JO JO Patrick is an ididot! Gee all I have to do is smile more? Wow your a real freakin genius! All these centuries of Doctors and researchers trying to find a cure and all we ever need to do is smile more. You know Patrick you might want to pull your head out of your ass before making any further statements.
Hi i am 16 years old and a month I took 100 mg of Ambien in order to commit suicide. If you havnt already guessed by now, it didnt work. I spent 8 hours throwing up (or so i am told) and had no recollection of 16 hours of my life. I do not regret this decision because it has helped me realize how precious life is. Suicide is a selfish act and abusing drugs to cope with pain is a cowardly, destructive path to folllow. Im not going to try and lie and say i havnt had suicidal thought since this incident, but when i do i think to myself there are people in the world suffering far greater pain than you, in terrible situations who make the best of their life and CHOOSE to be HAPPY regardless. Always have faith that things are going to get better. “For every dark night, there’s a brighter day” -Tupac
I am a 56 year old transgender female. I grew up in a time when being transgender was treated as a mental disorder. I grew up in a very large catholic family I was the middle child of nine. My father was emotionally unavailable to his crazy son. At age 15 he drove me to a state mental hospital and dropped me off and never came to visit. In fact he tried to have the state declare me an encouragable child in order to have me taken away.
He never touched me unless he was beating me with a belt. An older brother love to get his amusement by sitting on my chest with his knees on my hands and holding a pillow over my head till I passed out. I soon became terrified to be alnone with him.
During the months at the state mental hospital I endured days locked in a room alone with only my own thoughts, misuse by those charged with my care, forced injections of some sort of medications and threats of Electro shock therapy. I lived in hell and survived barely. Afterwards I learned to hide who I was inside and learned to appear as macho as I could possibly appear.
I eventually married and fathered two children, all as part of the persona of protection I had built around me. My children grew up with a dad who was always sad and depressed. Who though he did love them could never ever fully connect with them. I was in and out of mental wards for a long time. In the mid 80′s I attempted suicide a full bottle of an anti-dpressant (Trazodone) 500 mg tabs. I spent a few weeks in ICU afterwards was tranfered to a mental hospital and was there several months and suffered several severe grand mal siezures. A temporary after effect from the suicide attempt.
A year and a half ago I finally found the courage to announce to my children and my family my intention to transition. This was the last time and communication with any of them occurred. Though this greatly saddened me I continued along and have been living successfully as a female ever since.
That is of course till recently. The memories of the past have come back with a vengence. The pain and confusion, the hurt and terror of those times have become as fresh as they were then. I am trapped here, with no one who cares. My life has been one long nightmare. It’s time to stop it now. I have 24 vicodin 5/500mg and 20 ambien 10mg along with a 90 day supply of metformin 500mg.
I just want someone to know the pain I intend to leave behind.
Downward Spiral
by: Priscilla Millano 01/06/2012
On a downward spiral my life has been;
With this pain and despair I’m trapped here within.
To not be the one you are deep inside
And, to know from all others you must always hide.
This daily game of hide and seek
Soon one’s hope of tomorrow becomes so, so bleak.
I’ve fought so hard to gain control of my life,
Yet, I’m left trapped here with this pain and misery and even strife.
All those around me say, “Its forward, forward you must go!”
But, in this direction I just can’t go.
I’m tired of acting, and no longer want to pretend,
I want this pain and misery just to come to an end.
Yet if I go by the plan I’ve contrived,
What will happen to the one who hides here inside?
See she’s never experienced the true joy of life
It’s her existence that’s caused everyone’s strife
They hate her, despise her and wish she was gone.
And wish she would see not another dawn.
I am her and she is me
Why, oh why can they not see?
I am invisible the one without form
Yes of my existence there just is no norm!
So many things that I have done,
to get the attention of even one.
But they do not see me that I am here
And never acknowledge my behavior severe.
I’ve run out of options, to find my life
And now I’m trapped here in pain, misery and strife.
So what happens next I do not know
But, from this place, I must surely go.
This site sucks. I hate my life sooo very much. My parents treat me different then my brother and sister. But they don’t see it. I am researching what drugs I can take that are here at home so I can die. I am already in a waking hell. Life doesn’t get better. I am also gay and that fucking community has treted me like fucking shit. I wish I had drugs. I want to die so fucking badly!!!!!Oh god isnt real btw and he can’t help. I hate when you people think religion can slove everything!!!!!!!!!
I know just how you feel. My parents aer so indifferent to me also. I’ve spent YEARS trying to win their acceptance/love/respect. It’s like no matter what i do, it’s just never good enough. It drove me to convincing myself that I must totally be a complete F***-up. One day when I was in the midst of a very volatile phone conversation with my mother, I decided that was it. I was going to just kill myself and spare the world of the human piece of garbage that I was. Then my boyfriend, who had been observing this scenerio for some time, finally stepped in and said it all was enough. He finally made me see things from another angle. It is my PARENT issue that I am not what they want. It is MY life, and I get to do what I want with it. I owe NOTHING to them in terms of becoming who they want me to. I get to choose MY life. I finally was able to close the door on them, and although it hurts some at times, I have not spoke to them in 7 months. I can say it has been 7 months of peace and tranquility. 7 months of not trying to convince them to love me. 7 months of not having the constant emotional battles with them.
Parents are wonderful,,,,,,,,,most of the time. But unfortunately there are a select few who make our lives miserable. We have to step up, protect our emotions, and not allow them to manipulate and hurt us. I for one, am a much happier person now. Depression has always been a struggle for me, and I”m sure always will be. But at least the major trigger now I have learned to shut the door on. I hope you can do the same.
Why can’t killing oneself be easy without some one interfering and trying to save you.I just want it all to end for me. I tried overdosing myself but it just made me very sick for a few days, now I’m looking for a fail proof way, any suggestions?
I have felt this dark cloud over me since i was fourteen. i have been on a few meds, but to me none of them have made me feel better. I feel that i am lost and alone. I know i have all these people around me who love me and care about me, but yet i feel numb to there love. I have been struggling to be happy for years, self medicating myself with drugs and alcohol. I mean i know its not the best way to handle things but its the only thing i know. I have Ambien prescribed to me, and have thought alot about taking them all. I am scared but i feel that this is the only way i will be happy.! I don’t wanna leave all my loved ones behind but feel that it would just be better if i wasn’t here anymore.! Alot of my family wants me to go to impatient treatment but i’m scared. i don’t wanna go.
can someone help me before it’s too late.? I just need someone to talk too…. I am lost.
mclean.shanise@gmail.com
The question that keeps getting asked is “how many Ambien will it take for a lethal overdose?” To answer that question, you have to know that deaths from Ambien poisoning are the result of respiratory failure. Basically, this is the fatal version of sleep apnea — the tissues in your airway go slack, making it harder and harder to breathe, until you just stop. Then your heart stops and, eventually, your brain becomes starved for oxygen and dies.
So if you’re looking to overdose, bear in mind that failure can make you brain damaged. Beyond that, it really depends on your own body’s propensity to keep breathing. A young fit person is going to be more resistant to Ambien than an older person who already has sleep apnea. Taking Ambien with other respiratory depressants will increase its effect, as will environments that cause rebreathing or hypoxia. The longer it takes for someone to find you, the longer the drugs have to work.
I can tell you for sure that 600 mg is enough to kill someone. Maybe not everyone, but I woke up on a ventilator. In retrospect, I’m glad I did wake up. One of my doctors told me that suicidal thinking is your brain’s way of telling you there’s something really wrong, just like chest pain is your body’s way of telling you you’re having a heart attack. I would never tell anyone to look on the bright side or remember God loves you or any of that crap. But I would encourage people who want to die to make one more phone call. Call 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-273-TALK. Probably you feel like it’s not going to make any difference, and maybe it won’t. But you don’t have anything to lose, and you can always kill yourself tomorrow.
Lost both my patents ten days apart in 2010. Gave birth to a.beautiful baby boy Michael 2010. His father is a jerk and is very stingy on letting me see him. I take anywhere from 6 to 12 mg of klonopin daily for anxiety. Tonight I am adding 100mg of trazadone. So done with the bs. I have no family
Reading many of these stories makes me know I’m not alone. That being said it has come to a point in my life where living is no longer rewarding. I am about to become homeless due to being denied unemployment benefits, job searching for months has been of no use, I’m down to my last $1000 from my 401k, I am the black sheep of my family so no one will help me out…my mom died less than a year ago and I was never there for her, I live alone have no real friends and have become pretty much a recluse. My health is deteriorating, I have given up caring about anything, even the thought of my children does not deter me. Medication and therapy does nothing for me…I am at the end of my rope. I have a full vial of both Ambien and Xanax here…after a last weekend spent in NYC with my gf I plan on getting very drunk one night soon and taking both vials and just going to sleep and never waking up…I’m done. It helps me that I am not alone in thinking like this. What lies beyond this life I don’t know but I can’t carry on like this any longer.
I am sorry. There is nothing more I can say seeing as how in the letter below I am feeling much like yourself. As crazy as it seems I have wished for a deadly brain tumor or a near death accident so maybe those around me might appreciate me or see how they truly feel about me. Just know that even though you are alone right now in your feelings. You are not alone in this world. And if there is something after this world then people like you and I will be going there, andqso it can’t be that bad no matter what the religious say. I haven’t decided for sure what to do even though this morning I thought I had. I know my wife don’t love me anymore. But my little girl….my little boy…..it just hurts so bad to be here and to feel this way. Perhaps you could reply too maybe? We could talk? I have no one to talk to.
I will check back later and see. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next day. So I know I will be around till then anyway.
My wife of ten years told me today that we should not be together. Six months ago she was having a FB and txt affair with another man while the whole time lying to be and not expressing her feeling to me about anything. For the last six months I have tried everything I can to get her to talk to be but I get nothing. Now today just a few days after our ten year anniversary she said its over. We have four childrren that I love with all my heart and they are my life. I can’t stand to be away from them. I don’t think I can live without them. I have spent the last nine years building our dream hone all the while working six and seven day weeks at my job 12hours a day. I have put everything into making a home for my family. Before we were married I had spent five years remodeling a house only to sell it so we could move to make her happy. I put all that money into our home. Now I will have nothing. 15years of my life gone. I can’t stand the idea of getting use to seeing my children a fees times a month. I need them in my life everyday. Putting them to bed is the highlight of my day. I work the graveyard shift so I tuck them in then go to work. I have been working seven days a week for almost two years straight now. My wife is a stay at home mom. I work on the house in my off hours plus do the dishes and clean the kitchen every morning when I get home from work. She thinks its not enough. The house is always a mess even though she has all the day while the kids are in school to clean and she gets mad when I say something about it. She says its my fault she feels this way. As I said I love my children but I can’t live my life seperate from them. I have a whole bottle of ambient that I am thinking about taking. Either that or slit my wrists either way I think it will be peaceful. I know my children, brothers and father willow not understand and I hate to cause then pain but I don’t see a choice here. The debt could be resolved by selling the house that I have worked so hard on and maybe we could start sperate lives but she said no to that. Why is it ok for her to take my hone and my children from me? I don’t see many choices here. I don’t want advise I don’t want help just wanted to vent I suppose. I don’t believe in hell. That’s just a way of controlling primitive people. But I am still scared. My mother died a few years back. Maybe I can be with her.
Ive been in a lot of rough situations in life, and I wanted to offer some solace to those interested. If you ever need someone to vent to, feel free to contact me. Im not a doctor or a nurse or a psychologist. Just a getting better, troubled woman. I may offer advice, I may reply with words of encouragement, or if you want to just scream at your computer in CAPS lol, just send me an email. Ive been though a lot with things like this, Lost people I loved too much. I dont really expect anyone to email me, but I always found I could talk to someone I never knew more easily than someone like my mother or husband. I dont want this to seem weird or anything but if any of you need an ear, email me at really_listening@yahoo.com cheesey name i know lol. Take care guys. Keep your heads up.